Harping on people to get married from up in the ivory tower fails to engage with reality of life in the dating trenches.

  • AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    arrow-down
    9
    ·
    1 year ago

    There is a widespread, socially disruptive, and sometimes life threatening epidemic of unfuckable dudes.

    There are challenges with expectations and entitlements on all sides, but the unfuckable dudes are not rising to meet the challenges.

    • Coreidan@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      7
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      What about all the unfuckable women? Again you look at everything one sided.

      Both sexes need to get better. You’re saying that it’s all up to the men. In other words what you’re saying is women don’t have to be responsible for anything, they can act any way they want. A very entitled and selfish attitude.

      Did you ever consider that this toxic mentality DRIVES AWAY the good men? Maybe good men want nothing to do with you because of your mentality. That leaves only the toxic men to put up with your bullshit, so that’s all you see.

      • AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        They aren’t shooting up night clubs, marauding through cities, or lashing out violently out of sexual frustration and a lack of purpose.

        Men are doing those things. Look, I get that ‘both sides’ impulse, but unfuckable women don’t pose an existential risk to society, and to be honest, women have to be pretty far gone to qualify as unfuckable.

        Angry women aren’t as violent or dangerous as angry men, and the social validation most men are cultured to seek through income, physical prowess, and social success is not as accessible as it once was.

        When I was little I noticed that all the father’s were just absent. It seemed to me then that the role of ‘dad’ had been demoted to a placeholder and was existentially diminished in terms of meaning and value. This has a deleterious effect on the sense of purpose of many young men, myself included, but it doesn’t have to define us.

        Women are seizing an opportunity for their own self actualization from the oppressive society we live in to find purpose and meaning. Maybe some more men need to do the same.

        • Coreidan@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          Yikes. You have deep issues.

          The thing is no one is arguing that men don’t suck. Plenty of men out there are garbage.

          What you’re glossing over is the fact that women have lots of issues as well. There is no shortage of psycho women with deep issues.

          Go talk to a “good” man and get their perspective on dating. You’ll get a different picture and you’ll see women are chock full of their own issues. It’s just a different flavor.

          The problem is you’ll never do that because you hate men and have no interest in a genuine conversation. Instead it’s all “woe is me, all men suck”.

          If you can’t find a good man, it’s not that they don’t exist, but rather you don’t attract them. Maybe work on your attitude and you won’t come off as toxic with tons of baggage and maybe then they will give you a shot.

          • AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            I like to think that I am a good man, and I know my girlfriend is a good woman.

            I know that I wasn’t really ready for the seriousness of relationship some of my ex’s wanted with me and I had to grow up, but I also remember frustrations with some of them not being mature and self reliant enough to be a reliable partner.

            I am very fortunate to be on good terms and friendly with many of my previous partners, and I’m lucky to have been in love several times in my life. I know I am a better person because of the love I have shared and that which has been shared with me.

            I’ve seen shitty groups of women do things I thought only happened in strawman arguments, like protest a college club of minority men sharing legal and social resources relevant to their community because ‘mens rights is anti feminist’ or other nonsense. I have also seen men joke about vaginal credit card and bitch about their own odious unfuckablity in the same breath.

            People can be shitty, that doesn’t mean you need to make assumptions about them. If you give most people a chance, they will tell you who they are.

            • Coreidan@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              The TLDR is that not every one sucks and some times you need to give people a chance.

              No disagreement there, but I am not seeing how this aligns with the discussion we are having.

              At the end of the day not everyone sucks. Putting all of the blame on one sex is disingenuous. Both men and women can be fucked up. There are plenty of good men struggling to find good women. There are plenty of good women struggling to find good men. The world is chock full of assholes for both sexes.

              It works both ways but you’re only looking in one direction. Based on everything you said in your last post it sounds a lot like you agree with me, you just don’t want to admit it.

      • Dkarma@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        What about unfuckable women? Do men ever feel threatened by them to the point of feari g for their lives???

        You pretend this is one sided but it is literally not the same for women dating as it is for men.

        To believe otherwise is incredibly ignorant.

        The vast majority of men never consider physical violence against them in a relationship.

        The good men arent afraid to admit that men in general need to do a lot better job of respecting women.

        You claim: "In other words what you’re saying is women don’t have to be responsible for anything, they can act any way they want. "

        No one is saying this. You assumed this. Your assumption is simply incorrect.

        This is the definition of a strawman. You’re fitting an argument the other person never made.

        • Coreidan@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          1 year ago

          This is the definition of a strawman. You’re fitting an argument the other person never made.

          Except this thread is chock full of you all doing this exact thing.

          Listen, nothing will change that there are shitty men out there. Nothing will change that there are also shitty women out there. If you can’t find a decent guy it isn’t because they don’t exist, it’s because YOU aren’t attracting them. This is a YOU problem.

            • Coreidan@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              4
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Projecting? More like you’re deflecting.

              You’re the hateful one here. You’re the angry one. You need a nap.

              • Dkarma@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                3
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                1 year ago

                Oh really what did I say that is hateful? You’re still projecting 100% or you just can’t read haha.