I’ve heard it explained that “hey” used to be more of an urgent way to get someone’s attention, rather than a casual “hello” like it is now, so it sounded rude to some older folks.

  • Pickle_Jr@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    110
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    When I was a waiter, there was no shortage of boomers getting genuinely upset with me saying “No problem” as a reply to “thanks”.

    • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      62
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I prefer to say no problem over you’re welcome cuz it always (to me) sounds sarcastic/disingenuous when I say you’re welcome

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        42
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        It’s like this:

        You have a boss. A wrinkled plus-sized brown business jacket of a man whose idea of “cutting costs” is turning the air conditioner off. If he caught on fire, you wouldn’t piss on him to put him out. How do you address him? “Good morning Mr. Perkins, how are you doing today?”

        You’ve got a war buddy. You met at boot camp, you served in the same company, he splinted your leg in the field, you’re his kids’ godfather. You’d kill and die for this man. How do you address him? “Ah god not this fucking asshole again.”

        Official formal polite language like “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” is the pair of nitrile gloves I put on to handle the really noxious shit that comes my way. “w’thanks man” and “no problem” means I’m willing to handle you with my bare skin.

      • EtherWhack@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        34
        arrow-down
        5
        ·
        1 year ago

        “No problem” also carries the implication that the favor was taken and done without ill will, where “you’re welcome” carries one of superiority

        • SuckMyWang@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          11
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          I like to say no problemo. It suggests that the favour was done with a touch of Mexican

          • schmidtster@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            7
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            Well one would expect it at a five star restaurant, but not your local dive. So… kinda…?

            • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              I thought it was every day life politeness, but I am not native. I would rather expect “the pleasure is all mine, sir” at a 3 Michelin stars restaurant.

              • ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                1 year ago

                To me “you are welcome” comes off as taking credit for something minor and expected. No problem does the opposite. I prefer when people say no problem generally over you’re welcome. And that’s why it’s become more common in a day in age where people are expected to be less servile.

                • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  Question for the Spanish speakers in the room: Is there even another term equivalent to “you’re welcome” other than de nada that people actually use? Not super familiar but Spanish seems like a language where “it’s nothing” or “no problem” has almost completely replaced other phrases responding to thanks.

                  Asked honestly and noting cultural differences that may apply here - could be there’s a more formal “you’re welcome” Spanish phrase and I’ve just never heard it. 'Cause, you know, I don’t live in a Spanish speaking place.

    • CaptFeather@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Ugggggh I went through this with my (boomer) boss for years until she finally accepted it lmao. Then it was, “WORRIES, CaptFeather! WORRIES!” as a joke every time I said it lol

      • Pickle_Jr@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Absolutely. I could understand it if it was a formal dining place I suppose. But it was a fucking Applebee’s in a 20k population town with one other restaurant lmao

        • michaelmrose@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          Applebees is Sit down McDonalds with better food. If one of your seating option is at the fake wood bar its not fine dining.

          • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            1 year ago

            A family member of mine briefly worked at Applebee’s. Literally everything is microwaved. I happened to get a Fettuccine Alfredo there and have one of the Marie Calendars frozen Fettuccine Alfredo meals (>$2 at the store) in the same week and realized once its plated you literally could not tell the two apart. Same quality, same quantity, but the store bought meal costs 1/5 the price and is somehow ready faster

      • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        21
        arrow-down
        6
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        “No problem” takes “You’re welcome” and implies that it was of no inconvenience to you either. But I understand that older generations find it important that service workers be most humbly at their service, and adhere to a strict social etiquette just short of “Yes, m’lord” and “Shall I suck upon your dick, sir?”

        “You’re welcome” is more appropriate in a professional setting, but if you’re getting your jimmies in a rustle over someone saying “No problem” to you instead, you’re a bit of an assfuck.

        • PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          1 year ago

          If you are a service worker at a restaurant, then that is literally your job, to serve.

          I love it when I order a sandwich at my local banh mi place near my office and you can see the cashier literally eye roll every customer that orders. They can’t even look you in the eye…

          • ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            It’s literally meanings of words strung together being described.

            You are welcome = you are welcome to my servitude

            No problem = I don’t mind doing this thing for you

            Oh you. 🤦‍♀️

          • soupcat@sopuli.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            I don’t think either phrase is impolite. Good manners are a made up thing. If someone said ‘thanks’ to me and I said ‘tiddle dee dee’ I’m not being rude, just a bit weird, nobody’s honour has been questioned, I haven’t said anything that could be taken as an offence.

      • schmidtster@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        14
        arrow-down
        6
        ·
        1 year ago

        And why do people need to pander to you specifically? Cant people be themselves?

        Those are narcissistic traits.

          • xantoxis@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            13
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            only one way to interpret “you’re welcome”

            This is just wrong. Tone matters just as much with “you’re welcome” as it does with “no problem”. Language is fluid like that, and it’s completely arbitrary to elevate one of these expressions over the other when both are in common usage.

            Also, you’re deliberately misrepresenting what “no problem” means, in regards to “that’s the only reason you complied”. Nobody says it that way, and I don’t believe that you think they do.

          • schmidtster@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            arrow-down
            5
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            If someone says you’re welcome, you know they are a corporate drone and management wants them to say that to avoid certain people making a scene. Why’s it insincere to say no problem? In the same vein, they only said you’re welcome because they are complying too.

            There’s no issues with saying no problem unless you want there to be. Those are cool workplaces.

              • schmidtster@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                7
                arrow-down
                4
                ·
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                And so can you’re welcome. So why does it matter which phrase if both can be misconstrued?

                Language matters everywhere, who mentioned anything about an office building?

                And the only issue is you taking offense, there’s plenty of people who have no issues with no problem, but take offense from you’re welcome. Why is everything about you….?

          • scottywh@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            7
            arrow-down
            14
            ·
            1 year ago

            The implication is that a problem was assumed until “no problem” was stated.

            “No problem” is absolutely low key rude.

            • mriormro@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              13
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              To me, ‘No problem’ is just short for something like “oh don’t worry about it; it was really no problem at all and I’m happy to help”.

              Colloquialisms are fun like that.

              • scottywh@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                arrow-down
                12
                ·
                1 year ago

                The context in which the listener is expected to comprehend communication is important if the speaker hopes for the intended message to actually be communicated.

                If the speaker chooses to ignore how the listener is expected to perceive their communication then I’d say that actual communication was never truly their intent… seems more like linguistic masturbation to me.