My wife and I are both autistic. She has difficulty moderating the volume of her voice, and I’m volume sensitive. So far she’s been unable to recognize when I’m having trouble, and I’ve been unable to stop being so sensitive. :/

I’ve tried wearing earplugs but I have trouble remembering to keep them in.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to reduce volume from someone when you’re sensitive and they’re loud without realizing it?

  • boldtransdev
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    256 months ago

    Have this same issue, but my partner isn’t noise sensitive. Having a motion or hand sign that is an agreed upon motion to let your partner know “hey maybe a little too much rn” is a nice gentle way of helping manage. If discussed beforehand, should make it feel natural and not volume policing.

    • @[email protected]
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      96 months ago

      Especially if it’s a gentle, loving gesture. Otherwise it can feel like a rejection, so I absolutely second discussing it ahead of time.

    • @[email protected]
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      76 months ago

      My partner has hearing loss, so her speaking volume sometimes doesn’t match the background. Even when it’s just the two of us hand signals are useful, as they can be dropped without breaking the flow of conversation. We use basically the same as a sound tech uses to indicate back to the desk at a show - upturned palm lifting for louder, downturned palm lowering for quieter.

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪M
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      56 months ago

      I like this approach too. I have friends that are couples and have their own little signs to communicate secretly around others. If discussed in a loving way, it might even be a cute way to get closer to each other. It’s like you’re taking care of each other.

  • @[email protected]
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    116 months ago

    Help her to recognise when she’s speaking too loudly. If you’re right next to her, she should use her “Inside voice”.

  • Hello_there
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    86 months ago

    Try over ear headphones instead of earplugs? Different sizes and thicknesses could be helpful in getting the right level of muting. At least as an interim step to help with transitioning to a better solution

    • @[email protected]
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      25 months ago

      This. I have a noise canceling headset I wear a lot. You can still hear, just takes off the sharp edge in a really nice way. I have the sony wh-1000xm3 and it’s very comfortable to me. You can turn noise canceling off if you want to hear more.

  • @[email protected]
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    56 months ago

    Maybe tws earbuds with transparency mode? I’ve found it helps me hear voices more clearly and it allows for adjustable volume.

  • @[email protected]
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    26 months ago

    I know most noise cancelling headphones I’ve used has adjustable levels, so that could be helpful. If it’s just a matter of initial loadness that could be adjusted when addressed then headphones with DB cutting off level like welder or machinist use could be useful.