The greatest song about accepting your struggles as key to making you who you are, while also refusing to pass that generational trauma on to your own children, is Johnny Cash / Shel Silverstein’s “A Boy Named Sue”
*Bonus points for implicitly understanding the trauma of being misgendered.
The song to me feels more to be about how the intergenerational cycle of abuse isn’t a 1-to-1 transfer of trauma rather than being about any refusal to continue the cycle. Sue’s trauma is about chronic mocking/bullying resulting in an insecure need to prove his masculinity via violence. His father’s struggle isn’t specifically elaborated on but it’s clearly present and ultimately comes down to a similar relationship with violence/masculinity. His abandonment and rash naming decision caused his son a lot of struggle in his life and his father’s reasoning for doing that was because of his own life’s trauma.
The conclusion to the song was Sue coming to understand and appreciate his father’s decision even if the trauma Sue experienced prevents him from repeating the decision. Which underscores the way intergenerational trauma and violence often isn’t a straight line. Sue didn’t decide to become a great father who would keep his children free from the need to constantly prove themselves physically. Sue merely decided not to name his son Sue.
Only I some versions. In some the singer decided to name their child sue as well, perpetuating the trauma
This is known as “ruining the song.”
Wait, why? The reason the first father named him sue was because he abandoned him, so is the other version saying that they’re also going to abandon them?
gotta make sure that boy is tough!
You should listen to the second song, then. Might change your perspective.
Full disclosure: both were written by Shel Silversein, but Cash refused to perform the latter. This is pre-Where The Sidewalk Ends, mind you. This is The Great Smoke-Off era Silverstein.
edit: Here’s Shel Silverstein performing “Father of A Boy Named Sue”
Yeah, “Father of a Boy Named Sue” Is really like “What if, instead of writing a good song, I make myself look like a hugely toxic, ignorant piece of shit by writing this song instead”
I’m not disagreeing with you, though that certainly sounds like your perspective was newly informed by this additional trivia.
I don’t understand what you mean. This isn’t new trivia. It’s just a hugely problematic, incestuous, transphobic song
Holy fuck
… It doesn’t even make sense. If Sue ends up choosing to live life as a flamboyant, gay drag queen then why is Sue pissed off at the dad in the first place? 🤔
The father-son/daughter incest was also an interesting choice.
Hmm that part really was the only thing that resonated with me.
Maybe that’s yet another secret one finds where the sidewalk ends? 🤷🏼♂️
You should check out the song “Patches” If that’s what you’re interested in.
Patches, I’m depending on ya son…
That song hits hard in a town that was farm heavy
Just reading the name Patches brings a hit of emotions. Great song
Patches by Dickie Lee or Patches by Clarence Carter?
… Or Patches the Clown by Deadbolt?
(All great songs.)
