I believe the actual scientific reason paper cuts hurt so much is because they suck.

My paper has been peer reviewed.

I have also heard (yes, internet random has no citations) that “ragged” cuts also tend to close more quickly due to larger relative surface area for fibrin gluing.

I am currently not willing to self-experiment with this.

Thanks for the mental image. I hate it!

The bleaching chemicals for whitening the papers is caustic. It will spice up a cut nicely. The whitest paper burns the most.