Me personally? I’ve become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women’s expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I’ve matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I’ve come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of ‘humor’ really is, and I regret it deeply.
I’m not trying to sound insensitive (I never come across anything like that in real life), but is it really that bad to assume someone’s gender? You literally don’t know anything about that person, or how they identify. Do people get offended when you missgender them if it’s the first time you’ve met them?
I could understand someone being offended if you do missgender them every time, but what if it’s the first time you’re meeting? Just say sorry and then say the correct pronoun.
First of all, I barely gender people (I’ve always been like this, saying friend, partner, mate…) so I’m really surprised by this new trend. Maybe I’m getting old lol.
It’s not so much about offending someone (and yes, people absolutely do sometimes get aggressively upset about it) and more about attempting to change my own mental habits. I believe like race, sexual orientation, and politics, gender is a personal topic that doesn’t really need to enter into a casual, never to be repeated interaction between two people. You don’t say “excuse me, old person,” based on your perceptions of another’s appearance. Why is gender any different? It certainly isn’t an objective concept or one that can be readily or factually assumed. It’s outmoded and unnecessary.
Also, as I commented earlier, if I am using what I mean to be a term of respect to make someone else feel confident and comfortable, and through my language I risk doing the opposite, why would I want to do that if it’s something I can personally change?