• vacuumflower@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 year ago

    No, the “negativity and positivity” folks are the kind I don’t wanna even to argue with. No, thanks.

    One my friend, 7 years older than me, still depends on his parents to pay his rent. He talks like you about “negativity” and “positivity”, a lot. It would seem that attracting people is one of the few things he can do. He is my friend regardless of faults and mistakes, but if I were like you, he probably wouldn’t be.

    Another my friend blabbers about “negativity and positivity” too, but sometimes posts really long walls of hardly-comprehensible maniacal texts at 2 AM involving lots of emotions. She doesn’t want to visit a psychiatrist. On a brighter side, she’s the only person which talks to me after the rejection just as well as before, and the rejection itself she managed to do right - simply by being human.

    This is not a reason. I have a friend with the same amount of “negativity” as myself, that friend is a girl too, though. Helped me through hard times. She does have same problems as I do, but for girls it’s different.

    And my sister’s boyfriend is of the “multiple suicide attempts” kind and his relative cheerfulness doesn’t quite seem cheerful.

    And my cousins’ dad has PTSD from war, he’s a very cheerful man often, but he doesn’t treat “negativity” as something justifying what you justify.

    Other than that, you having a cold or a food poisoning is also unattractive. Same with depression. These things come and go.

    It’s cowardly and disgusting to discard people for this reason. I wouldn’t do that, I’m just surprised every time that for others it’s normal.

    Also if you do that, then at least be direct and don’t behave as if it’s another’s fault, because that another is going to waste lots of effort and emotion to find out that they’ve done nothing wrong, it’s just that your parents have failed.

    EDIT: Yep, didn’t want to argue that and wrote a rant.

    • flerp@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      If people feel bad being around you, they’re not going to want to be around you. Simple as that. It’s not even a conscious decision, it’s a subconscious mechanism of being part of a social species. It’s not just plain negativity, but moreso festering bitterness. Your comments exude it. And it matches what you said, people don’t “discard” you immediately, but once you get to know them, drop your guard, and show them your bitterness.

      You whine that people shouldn’t “discard” you even though you’re so bitter, but that right there is a sign of entitledness. People have one life, why spend it with someone bitter who makes you miserable, instead of someone who makes you feel good and happy and helps you get the most out of the one short life you get? They’re not “discarding” you, it’s not all about you, they are protecting their own right to seek happiness in life. You try to paint it as if it’s all about you, removing their agency, and their rights, it’s just about you, you, you.

      You can ignore what I’m saying, or try to paint me as a bad person for saying it, but it is a fact. And I’m not the one complaining about being “discarded.” You’re not stuck, you can change. Or you can just blame me for saying it like you blame everyone else, ignore your own agency and responsibility, and stay miserable. Your choice.

      • vacuumflower@lemmy.sdf.org
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        1 year ago

        I mean, you start with admitting your failure at reading comprehension. Why should I explore your reply further?

        Looking through it diagonally - your choice of words, like “bitter”, “whine” and “entitledness” doesn’t really raise expectations.

        The first part is some picture of me painted by your imagination without regard for my comments which admittedly contain a lot of text, often redundant.

        The second part is pure demagogy without any essence with some traits of how people bad at motivational rhetoric imagine it.

        I mean, however I would feel about various events in my life, I’m happy (literally, this comparison makes me feel much better right now) I’m not you.

        If you are reading this expecting to find some answer to your opinions on me, and not a description of you, there will be none.