• Flying Squid@lemmy.worldEnglish
    271·
    10 months ago

    I have an evil dog. A very evil dog. If she could make a wish, the first would would be for an infinite number of baby bunnies to eat because the day she found the nest of baby bunnies and ate them all was the best day of her life and her second wish would be for an infinite number of other things to kill and then play with after she’s killed them.

    The other one would wish for me to scratch his belly until the end of time, so I’m not giving him any wishes.

    • KevonLooney@lemm.eeEnglish
      15·
      10 months ago

      That’s not evil. Lots of dogs were bred for thousands of years to hunt small animals. It’s like asking you not to like eating ice cream.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldEnglish
        111·
        10 months ago

        Were they also bred to play with them for hours and not let anyone near them until you trick them into letting them go?

        And then there was the time she brought half a squirrel through the dog door. Just half a squirrel.

        • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.worldEnglish
          8·
          10 months ago

          She’s learning to share. Good dog!

          Or, if those happened in reverse order: She’s learning that you don’t want her to share the animals. Good dog!

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldEnglish
            6·
            10 months ago

            She still doesn’t want to share. She just forgot she left it on the living room floor.

            Oh, and there was another time she brought in half a rabbit.

            • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.worldEnglish
              3·
              10 months ago

              To be fair, who hasn’t set down the half squirrel they were gnawing on and forgotten about it? Maybe the half squirrel and half rabbit were supposed to go together and make an even more fun animal to maim and kill play with. Cute little Dogtor Frankenstein.