A friend of mine used to be desperate - he was around 35-40 and he still did not get a single lady. He was all the more desperate that he wanted to found a family, have a house etc…
Going to dance lessons has been the trick for him. Even if you are not comfortable eventually you have to talk to women in such lessons. And just by simple interactions you become comfortable eventually and then more comes. His first gf didn’t work out but I have heard things are going great with his 2nd
Personally I never did one night stands, always serious relations. At some point in my life I was desperate too. I think the key is to not think too much about it. It’s hard but if you speak with a woman with the implicit intention “I just want to date her” or worse “i just want sex” she will sense it somehow and be turned away.
What worked for me is to shift to “I would like to get to know her because she interests me”. This lowers your own expectations (you are not specifically looking to hook up - just get to know her for now) so you will act more natural. And if you sense that things are doing good you can invite her (just her) to do some outside activity to know her better - eventually maybe you will sense that she is getting into you just like you are getting into her and things will happen.
What does not work however is to get close to the person, then failing to express your desire to go further - wait several months because you wait for the right moment that never comes - then, out of the blue, ask her out and she turns you down because even though she did find you cute once, she already moved on now. For dating to work, eventually the person needs to feel that you are interested (either implicitly or explicitly - it depends on the person - hence why it’s important to get to know the person before attempting to go further)
Either way, keep in mind that if she turns you down, it’s not necessarily because of you. You might be good looking but just not her type. It’s like tastes and colors. But as long as you are clean, respectful and not too inconfident you will find someone eventually.
I would also say that when things get a little more forward, there is no shame in telling her you never had an experience before. On the contrary it might even help the both of you to be in sync
A friend of mine used to be desperate - he was around 35-40 and he still did not get a single lady. He was all the more desperate that he wanted to found a family, have a house etc…
Going to dance lessons has been the trick for him. Even if you are not comfortable eventually you have to talk to women in such lessons. And just by simple interactions you become comfortable eventually and then more comes. His first gf didn’t work out but I have heard things are going great with his 2nd
Personally I never did one night stands, always serious relations. At some point in my life I was desperate too. I think the key is to not think too much about it. It’s hard but if you speak with a woman with the implicit intention “I just want to date her” or worse “i just want sex” she will sense it somehow and be turned away.
What worked for me is to shift to “I would like to get to know her because she interests me”. This lowers your own expectations (you are not specifically looking to hook up - just get to know her for now) so you will act more natural. And if you sense that things are doing good you can invite her (just her) to do some outside activity to know her better - eventually maybe you will sense that she is getting into you just like you are getting into her and things will happen.
What does not work however is to get close to the person, then failing to express your desire to go further - wait several months because you wait for the right moment that never comes - then, out of the blue, ask her out and she turns you down because even though she did find you cute once, she already moved on now. For dating to work, eventually the person needs to feel that you are interested (either implicitly or explicitly - it depends on the person - hence why it’s important to get to know the person before attempting to go further)
Either way, keep in mind that if she turns you down, it’s not necessarily because of you. You might be good looking but just not her type. It’s like tastes and colors. But as long as you are clean, respectful and not too inconfident you will find someone eventually.
I would also say that when things get a little more forward, there is no shame in telling her you never had an experience before. On the contrary it might even help the both of you to be in sync
God speed out there! You can do it :)