numbermess

So this cowboy puppy comes in here and says: I’m lookin for the man who shot my paw

I worked at a Red Lobster in the early 2000s and my job was to portion out “vegetable medley” into plastic bags. These bags were kept in big trays in the refrigerator, and they would be pulled and thrown into the microwave for a minute or so. They’d dump the vegetables out of the bag and onto the plate and then just throw the bag on the floor. Cleaning up after a shift was like bulldozing filthy plastic bags.

Olive Garden is/was owned by the same group, so I’m sure it was spiritually similar there.

Would also like to stop hearing the word Unhinged. I don’t think it carries any value anymore.

coRpse

Do you know what a shit barometer is, boy? Measures the Shit Pressure in the air. When the Barometer rises, and you’ll feel it too, your ears will implode with the Shit Pressure. I tried to warn you, Bubs, but you picked the wrong side! Beware, the Shit Winds are a-comin!

Carbonated water Orange Vanilla Mio Cherry/strawberry liquid IV cranberry juice

Ben Stiller

I have a feeling they’ll be worshipping her before the weekend is over. Maybe cutting up their own faces and chaining themselves to doors. They just need time to adjust, this development is weird for everybody.

They’ll fall in line pretty soon.

Revenant woman Screaming down the street Revenant woman The kind I’d like to stay very, very far the fuck away from

from “Revenant Woman” by Roy Orbison

I have about 5 pounds of bicentennial quarters.

My mom won a week-long vacation to England from a Fruitopia bottle cap contest and she gave it to me and my little brother. I was 20 and he was 16 and we went all over the place. This was back in the days of no cell phones and disposable cameras. That was a lot of fun.

Works every time!

What patriotic Christian American wouldn’t want this fat sweaty lying sack of makeup wearing shit flashing a big toothy grin and the weakest looking thumbs up gesture that is even physically possible dangling his guts over the grave of their own dead child on the grounds of a sacred national monument? Let’s get real.

Not seeing Solarbabies here.

Trump: No, many people are saying I’m the biggest whiner, like no one has ever seen, very whiny and powerful, frankly, and not only that, I’ll take it one step further with [invitation to stochastic terrorism]

My doctor usually prescribes Oxycodone when I have a stone/stones, but I’m just not an opiate guy. It makes me feel more sweaty and nauseous and despair. There is a prescription NSAID called Ketorlac that works much better for this kind of thing in my opinion. One of the effects of long term use is kidney damage, so you need to take enough but not too much for too long. FYI if you’re looking for something to think about next time you get one.

I also found a wireless TENS unit called a Hollywog that just sticks to your back. It’s a little plate and doesn’t have any external wires. It hangs on by the electrode pads and you control it with a phone app over Bluetooth. This thing is great to use while your back is winding and wringing and you are stuck in a reloading agony loop. It kind of helps make it possible to focus on something for a minute without being distracted by the pain.

I do like both of those things.

Excite Truck

This guy always has such dramatic YouTube thumbnail image face