• @lowleveldata
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    131 month ago

    I always think there is a we vs them vibe in the non-binary thing which is kind of toxic

    • Talaraine
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      161 month ago

      That’s so sad to me. From my POV being non-binary isn’t aggressive. It’s just that there are more important things to worry about than gender.

      • @lowleveldata
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        71 month ago

        I think it’s just the term. “Binary” isn’t exactly neutral as it can imply narrow minded. Also labelling non-X imply that everyone else is X which often includes too many people that are kind of in the middle / doesn’t really care.

        • @[email protected]
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          111 month ago

          so what would you suggest people who do not want to be referred to as man or woman call themselves?

          • @[email protected]
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            91 month ago

            Blenders. Gender ephemeral. Intangibles. An even cooler fourth option, probably.

            There are tons of cool names you could go with when your identity lies outside of preconceived boundaries (and pretty much transcends them). But, non-binary’s pretty clinical-sounding, so I guess it’s easier to work into a professional setting or something.

              • @[email protected]
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                21 month ago

                I just mean this whole premise. The idea that being nonbinary is its own binary. It’s a categorically different comparison. The “binaries” OP sets up are a:b versus (a+b):c, when really it should be a+b+c+d etc.

                • @[email protected]
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                  41 month ago

                  The comment you were replying to wasn’t about the image in the op though. It was a discussion about someone not liking people who do not identify as man or woman referring to themselves as non-binary.

        • @[email protected]
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          41 month ago

          Also have you ever considered the fact that maybe you (or other people) don’t really care about gender labels because you were assigned as the gender you prefer? It seems a bit silly to criticise a group who currently faces a lot of discrimination based on their gender preference. Also are you aware that your argument is often used to discredit the experiences of and as a reason to discriminate against people who identify as non-binary?

          • @lowleveldata
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            21 month ago

            It seems a bit silly to criticise a group … based on their gender preference

            Like, didn’t I just say that it’s the vibe of the word that I don’t like? Therefore either

            1. I am not criticizing any specific people at all because I’m just talking about how we use words; OR
            2. I am criticizing some people for their taste of words

            and not what you say at all IMO

        • @[email protected]
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          11 month ago

          yeah, that’s understandable. i’d never thought about it that way before.

          personally i use enby as a way to say that i am in the middle / don’t really care.

          i think the issue comes from the fact that saying non-binary means specifically non-{man,woman}. whereas i’ve always interpreted it as just non-“specific gender”.

          to me it’s the etc. of gender labels, but i realise that not everyone that i think it describes would want to identify with it.

          (and that means it becomes it’s own label, and now we have to figure out what to call everyone_else all over again. (maybe the whole idea of gender labels was rigged from the start))

      • @lowleveldata
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        11 month ago

        I’m not sure what you are trying to say

        They are asking you… You are asking them…

        Where did this come from? Why am I grouped into some kind of hater group suddenly?

        Language has changed … silly to start a movement to rollback english to 1724

        Ya and I was commenting on how I don’t like the choose of word in this specific change. Why not use better words when you start to describe something new?

        In addition, many were mutilated as newborns

        This sounds like a horror story. What?

    • @[email protected]
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      21 month ago

      I always think there is a we vs them vibe in the non-binary thing which is kind of toxic

      I dunno if there is much “we” inside the non-binary community. Like Non-binary is an umbrella term that encapsulates everything from a both/neither/almost but not quite binary/gender fluid betwixt multiple states/people who identify as trans non-binary, people who identify as non-trans non-binary/ cultural third genders/ political gender activists /DID people with alters that swap… There’s a lot of different concepts and sometimes contradictory needs there.

      Like people tend to just group non-binary people into a third category and don’t really ask questions of individuals what their actual deal is. I blew a friend’s mind recently when he introduced his enbyfriend to me and while we were out on a walk I asked “Apart from the umbrella non-binary term how do you conceptualize yourself?” because he had never thought to ask that question of either of us.