To start: no, there are no “trusted male figures” in our lives. My brothers & father are all conservative, and I DO NOT trust them to properly explain things without shame and/or religious context.
My son knows the basics of reproduction, but I’ve never really explained what’s “normal” things for a teenage boy to go through… mainly because I don’t know!
I’ve definitely put it off, so he’s almost 14 and is much more physically mature than most of his peers (he’s got hair in places, shaves his face regularly, etc.)… but I’m embarrassed to admit that I know next to nothing about anything else…
Could y’all help me out? What did you go through that he should know about? What should I know about?
Many thanks to anyone who can help. Please don’t be unkind. Much appreciated.
EDIT: Thank you so much for all the advice so far!! Please keep it up!!
My son & I have very open communication & a very good relationship.
“If the description is sounding like it fits”
Where in OP did it sound like it fits?
I get the impression the guy I’m replying to is working with troubled youth. Even then, most men and boys are taught to defend their moms as a point of pride, not the opposite.
I’m not saying it “does” fit. I’m writing that to her. As she gave no indication or contraindication to whether it applies. Other than asking what our experiences were and what relevant advice would have fit our experiences… these are experiences that were had, and the advice that would go with them.
Your life was different, you gave advice that fit yours, thank you for your advice. We also gave advice.
I’ve just followed this revolving door of male self improvement advice for a long time now. It actually started for me at church, those guys hate a young man without a “role model”. Then people started blaming the lack of role models and we got Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate, when honestly the biggest problem facing men in society was capitalism and overwork not male lack of self improvement. Then people were like, no not THOSE role models, and now people are blaming young men for Trump voting etc, when again it’s role models themselves that are making these kids fail to see their issues in relation to labor.
What if, instead of teaching men to be followers we taught them to be leaders and free thinkers. Women too. I never once woke up as a kid and was like, man I wish I had someone to look up to. I had people to learn from but I was imminently aware of other people’s flaws and the fallacy of emulating success. Don’t become your dad or your pastor please. Realize what’s wrong with the culture you are growing up in and why it’s making you sad, don’t emulate others, don’t blame others, identify and overcome.
We really just need to teach philosophy in schools.
If that is where you are coming from, I think it might be worth giving the first message in this thread a second read. You may have brought more to it than what was written. I agree that it’s not “100%” as they stated, but it is -a- percentage and shouldn’t just go unsaid. Other than the “guaranteed” wording, the message is pretty much the same as what you are saying.
Just change all the "will"s to "might"s. And keep in mind it is written for todays youth, not our childhood, this kid has access to social media streams that can very easily reinforce bad ideas as much as they can good ideas.