• Orbituary
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    4011 months ago

    My favorite magic item I ever got was Ring of the Grammarian. Change one letter of a spell…

    Me: “Incestation” Dm: “hello, step brother.”

    • Piecemakers
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      2311 months ago

      “Tireball”

      A massive, industrial strength ring of treaded galvanized rubber smothers the target area, and ricochets with lethal effect.

      “Bay of Frost”

      An unearthly howl that chills the blood of all in range, literally

      “Hole Person”

      Transform target into the z-axis mirror opposite of their form: a perfect replica of their volume in the surface they were in contact with at the moment of casting.

      Etc.

      • @bloopernova
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        11 months ago

        Time to get busy with https://5e.d20srd.org/indexes/spells.htm

        Blade Harrier - bird made of razor sharp blades attacks enemies.

        Animate Mead - especially good when someone just drank a bunch.

        Crone - create a ghastly old witch who scares your enemies.

        Ball Lightning - control a big ball of electricity for level x rounds.

        Stoneskim - throw a stone that bounces on water and does level x d10 damage.

        • @[email protected]
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          211 months ago

          Produce Blame - shift responsibility onto an adjacent player.

          Beacon of Hose - keep any bards in range from doing the deed.

          Flesh to Store - morbid way to buy and sell goods, far away from civilization.

          Tiny Hat - purely cosmetic, but so worth it.

          Mage Sand - sha-sha-sha!

          Tree Strife - an off-color joke that will get you cancelled by the ents. Eventually.

          Punburst - a barrage televisable jokes which might still get you killed.

          Arcane Lick - you’re lucky restraining orders haven’t been invented yet.

          Tire Shield - surprisingly effective.

          Fund Steed - they’re fucking expensive!

          Revilify - shift responsibility onto any past target of Produce Blame.

          • @bloopernova
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            11 months ago

            Each one of these I would love to use, they’re all great! I like trying to come up with good ones:

            Flame Shrike - depends if you’ve read Hyperion if you think this one is good lol.

            Dog Cloud - an army of faithful hounds.

            Dope Trick - fascinates large groups of people.

            Contact Otter Plane - for advice and cuteness

            • @[email protected]
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              211 months ago

              Fare Storm - lawful neutral highway robbery.

              Blank - counterspell for a scroll.

              Knick - does minimal damage, but it really hurts!

              Mass Peal - deafen nearby enemies with a cacophony of bells.

              Bending - it’s just Move Earth, but you get to pretend you know karate.

              Spore the Dying - cordyceps infection technically is not necromancy.

              Cull Lightning - increases rendering efficiency.

              Dispel Gold - really pisses off the munchkins.

              Wall of Firs - like Wall of Stone, but biodegradable.

              Counterspill - put any liquid back into its container. Potions included.

      • @[email protected]
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        311 months ago

        One of my wizards specialized in wild magic. I routinely used fireball to produce massive explosions of flower petals, and magical fireworks for celebrations.

        • Piecemakers
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          211 months ago

          I tend to push “wild” magic a bit further, frankly, but love the imagery that “magic explosion of flower petals” conjures, including the looks on all in attendance. 🤣

          That said, I like to incorporate not only the degree of intent but the channeled volume of Weave into the unexpected result. In essence, being that rendering a magical change in the local reality causes an equal amount of reweaving, as it were, and “wild” casters are therefore little more than interlopers pulling at threads, unintended results of their fiddling should match the volume of contact.

          To shift metaphors: turning on a spigot attached to a pipeline of unknown fluid, one inherently expects something to come out, yet the only control one has is the degree of said turn. The contents are unknown, let alone the pressure or volatility, so it could certainly be a trickle or a torrent of mountain spring water, or steaming dragon piss, or a jabbering cloud of punch drunk pixies straight from a fey hen night. With wild magic, you don’t know shit except how far you turned the faucet on. 😱🤩

          • @[email protected]
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            11 months ago

            Yeah, this was third edition, and she specifically took a couple feats so that she had a lot more control over it. It would still backfire occasionally. I did have one wild surge that almost killed her. Wild surged a chain lightning spell, rolled a nat 20 on the surge check, the spell did double damage, and back flashed half the damage at her. She took 78 points of damage, thankfully I had 82 points, and the cleric took one look at me and slapped me with a Heal. Needless to say the 10 bandits that I fired that off at were unable to absorb 164 points of damage each, and they all quit the fight, having died.

            Funnily enough because she also had a pseudodragon familiar, which gave her the [Improved Evasion] feat, she was the only spellcaster that ever was capable of hitting her with lightning or fireball.

            • Piecemakers
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              11 months ago

              A yes, good ol’ wild magic: for when you wanna practice dodging lightning & fireballs but don’t have any casters in the crew. 😅🤌🏼

      • @[email protected]
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        8 months ago

        “Beacon of Cope”

        Allies in the radius are immune to fear and charm due to an aura of self-deception. Deception and persuasion checks automatically succeed against affected targets if they would cause the target to feel less doubt about their choices.

    • @[email protected]
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      110 months ago

      i gave my players a “tome of mis-spells” that, when spells are cast through it, i get to misspell them, i.e. “mage hand” --> “rage band”, this is a similar idea