cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/14816537

I’m 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes I’m in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).

I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why don’t you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.

The way these women asked was accusatory, like I’m a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: I’m 25, leave me alone.

Since that bad experience I’ve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe I’m 25 because as said I look like it, don’t pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they don’t push my buttons because I don’t give them any ammunition. It’s tolerable.

Note that I didn’t lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them I’m 25 and they didn’t question it.

Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I don’t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I don’t know if I’d get better assignments if I’m sincere about my age (I’d like that, but is it realistic?). I just don’t want to get to 65 with a broken back. I don’t want drama either, just to work and go home.

I lie to protect myself.

If I need to change this, why and how?

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    6 months ago

    Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I don’t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old

    Don’t worry, 25 year olds now don’t have the body of 25 year olds from when you were 25. In my experience they’re either very fit gym rats (the minority), or a bit pudgy and weak from a lifetime spent online.

    I have a peer who I think is probably 40, but when I asked his age he flatly stated “I don’t tell people my age, it leads to judgment and preconceptions”. I respected his decision. You could always roll with something like that if you feel uncomfortable lying.

    • dennis5wheelOP
      2·
      6 months ago

      I respected his decision.

      these coworkers do not. I wouldn’t need to lie if all coworkers were this respectful.