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ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

Like clockwork

i.imgur.com

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Like clockwork

i.imgur.com

ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • ramenshaman@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Literal shitpost.

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      2 years ago

      It felt appropriate to stay on theme here.

  • RoBoT_095@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    I would say 45 minutes of scrolling if lemmy.world wasn’t constantly under DDOS attacks

    • TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      So true… 😣 It’s like they think it’s the main server for the entire thing.

  • Raltoid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I was shocked when I found out how common external/bleeding hemorrhoids can be(Almost 3/4 adults will have them from time to time).

    Then it all clicked when I realized people sit on the toilet for 15min+, which is a major contributor to that condition.

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      2 years ago

      When I get hemorrhoids, it’s not from sitting for long periods. It’s due to my need for a poop bat’leth. I take Klingon sized poops.

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Uppercase poops

        • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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          2 years ago

          Correct, these are most certainly, POOPS. I have Toto toilets that I bought to ensure I can flush without fear of it’s returning from Sto-vo-kor.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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      2 years ago

      My wife can sit on the toilet for 45 minutes. I don’t get it. I want to get on and off that thing as quickly as possible. Why do you want to hover over poo?

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Not all of us have a bowel that is cooperative and timely. For some of us it is always a pitched battle of wills, a violent class struggle.

      • danny@sh.itjust.works
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        2 years ago

        Because it doesn’t all happen at once

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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          2 years ago

          Yeah, but 45 minutes? Take a break and come back or something.

    • Aki@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I’d say it’s more of a revelation to me that sitting on the toilet seat itself for long periods causes hemorrhoids, than hemorrhoids being common in general.

      I’ve been there for an hour a couple of times, I’ve never had it so I would never notice lol. I guess it’s time to avoid it altogether.

    • Nora@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      i blame lack of bidets

      • nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        deleted by creator

        • QuazarOmega@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Damn, respect for that shitstuff.
          Do you have some suggestions for fiber rich foods too?

          • RadicalCandour@startrek.website
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            2 years ago

            Chia seeds. I sprinkle that shit on everything I can. Salad, cereal, yogurt, smoothies. It’s extremely high in fiber. But be careful, too much fiber can be a bad thing. Make sure to keep up your water intake!

            • QuazarOmega@lemmy.world
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              2 years ago

              Thanks for tips ! I’ll be needing that

        • Nora@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          eating a better diet is probably better than metamucil

          • nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee
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            2 years ago

            deleted by creator

            • Nora@sh.itjust.works
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              2 years ago

              Pfff what? I clear 30g easy. Half a box of whole wheat spaghetti is 20g. A cup of dry pinto beans is 48g.

              • nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee
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                deleted by creator

                • Nora@sh.itjust.works
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                  2 years ago

                  Not smoking anything…

  • Faustus@feddit.ch
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    2 years ago

    15 minutes? Amateur.

    • RagingRobot@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Do your legs ever fall asleep

      • Faustus@feddit.ch
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        2 years ago

        Nope. Years of experience hiding in the bathroom from my kids.

      • RadicalCandour@startrek.website
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        2 years ago

        A squatty potty really helps in the department of prolonged toilet sitting.

  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    You know a courtesy flush will take care of the aroma.

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      But then how will other Klingons smell what I’m cooking?

  • RedditWanderer@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Now do your leg that has long fell asleep

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      A Klingon doesn’t skip leg day’s.

  • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 years ago

    You’re supposed to hold it for 3 days, not 15 minutes!

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      2 years ago

      But, that’s how they become pine cone shaped.

    • Ⓑⓡⓞⓚⓔⓝ@lemdro.id
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      2 years ago

      Rookie numbers.

  • thegreatgarbo@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Thank you for a legit belly laugh.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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    2 years ago

    Sadly, that’s work for me. “You can go to the bathroom, but you have to finish these three orders first.” Thanks, brain. Fuck you.

  • danny@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    Me rn (or my poop more accurately)

  • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    this made me laugh way too much lmao

  • solstice@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    COURTESY FLUSH

    There, said it loud and clear so everyone can hear. Doom scroll all you want but give it a flush first please, no need to stink up the bathroom with your nasty shit stew marinating the whole time. I don’t understand why people don’t know this.

    • victron
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      Thank you for giving it a name, fellow courtesy flusher.

  • Fonzie!@ttrpg.network
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    2 years ago

    I should leave, damn

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      Or you could stay, there’s no shame friend.

  • fne8w2ah@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    That reminds me of the early days of R*ddit.

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