• Zorque@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        People have been getting their penis stuck in things for as long as there have been holes.

        • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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          25 days ago

          When I was in high school, my biology class did a stream study, and the class funny guy was documenting it with a big vhs camcorder. I was standing next to him when he saw a broken drain pipe sticking out of a wall. He pointed the camera at the pipe, and called to me. “Hey, themeatbridge. See that hole? Don’t stick your dick in that hole.”

          I laughed, because it was funny, and the class also thought it was funny when we watched it later. So funny that it became the thing everyone said to me for about 6 months. “Hey, themeatbridge, see that outlet?” “Hey, the meatbridge, see that taco?” You get the idea. I became known as the guy who has to be told not to stick his dick in things.

          It was almost 30 years ago, and I still have ptsd from it.

    • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      I also agree! I just want to clarify that I knew it was his penis before actually reading this comment because I’m smart too.

  • Jake Farm@sopuli.xyz
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    26 days ago

    This is the second post I have seen where someone has their cylinder stuck in something is this a meme now?

  • reev@sh.itjust.works
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    25 days ago

    “You slipped and fell?”

    “Yes.”

    “Penis first?”

    “Yes, now get me out of here.”

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      25 days ago

      “I don’t know why patients try to lie. It’s not like it’s a big deal”

      [patient walks in with a butt object]

      “Oh gee, how’d it happen?”

      All they gotta do is not ask. I assume it’s not medically relevant. Dude’s got a cucumber in his butt, everybody knows how it happened. What’s the point in asking?

      • Entropywins@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        You’ve obviously not had the same sorts of completely innocent accidents I’ve had throughout my life.

      • luciferofastora@lemmy.zip
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        25 days ago

        Probably to make the patient squirm and see what excuse they come up with so the job isn’t as drab?

        More seriously, they need to know the circumstances of any accident to be aware of potential other complications or risk factors. That’s just a standard question they have to ask.

  • Baggins@feddit.uk
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    25 days ago

    First we had the wankpanzer, now we have the wankrobot.

    PS. I would also have accepted wankautomaton, wankpuppet, wankmechanic or wankandroid.

  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    25 days ago

    Gross misuse of technology.

    We’re just going to ignore that there are open source plans online for motorized multi-axis articulated under-desk fleshlight mounts, and a library of videos with 1:1 motion mapping? Plus it has safety controls to ensure it doesn’t snap the “cylinder”.

    Go green! No need for a whole robot when you’re only looking to use a single part.

    (I mostly just wanted to curse others with knowledge of the robo-vagina. Can’t find the github anymore because a bunch of companies got in on it and dominate the search results now)

  • schema@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    Just tell the tesla employee that comes with the robot to fake its autonomy to let go.