• littlewonder@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    25
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    28 days ago

    n+1 here, but I’m a bi woman married to a straight man and I’ve started using partner more recently because there’s a lot of baggage in the history of power dynamics associated with the titles of husband and wife.

    I also hope it makes people think for a minute if they need to ask me clarifying questions about my marriage status or sexuality/how the person I’m married to identifies.

    At the same time, I totally understand the impact of not using generic words when it comes to gay marriage, where there was such a long fight to be recognized as husband and husband. So cheers to you and your husband!

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      27 days ago

      Thank you, you’ve summed up a good clash of feelings around these terms with great economy.

      When I (male) use the term wife to describe my relationship, I don’t want to contribute to this feeling that I’m pulling for the default in an exclusionary kind of way. Like contributing to this cultured of presumed heteronormativity.

      Better in my case to leave a little unsaid, so as to make room for other kinds of relationships.