That I’m pregnant. I was a tomboy and very masculine. This is as far away from masculine as I can be at least in a physical sense. It’s not as bad as I thought.

The girl 10 yo me was hanging out with all the time, very much thought I was going to marry (she did too) and eventually took my virginity a few years later is now an incredibly handsome man with a wife and kids

Its probably that, honestly. Maybe that I’ve spent a month and a half of my life in Japan so far, that’s p wild for a 20 year old and I’d never have even considered it then

My job…

10 year old me would be amazed

21 year old me would call me a sell out

30 year old me would nod approvingly

Current age me is getting too old for this shit

That for all intents and purposes, I beat depression. And here’s me knocking on wood to not jinx that.

That I am a girl now. Seems to be a common pattern şn the comment section 💀

Probably that I’m alive?

I already dealt with (undiagnosed) chronic depression by 10. The first time I thought about killing myself I don’t think I even knew the word “suicide.” I also had an overwhelming sense that I wouldn’t live past 30. That might not have started until I was 11 or 12, but I think it was there when I was younger.

Weirdly my mom also had an overwhelming sense that she would lose me at a young age from the day I was born, which she didn’t have with my older sister.

Well, I’m past 30 now. My love of people in my life has kept the suicidal ideation to only that. While I still have chronic depression, I’ve learned to manage it better over the years and medication helps.

I genuinely don’t know why I was depressed or had suicidal thoughts that young. I didn’t have a traumatic home or childhood. My parents worked a lot but loved me and my sister without question. We didn’t have a lot of money but always had enough food. I loved school and had great teachers. I wasn’t sexually assaulted before I was 10 (I think I was 12 the first time). I don’t know and that bothers me.

ETA: I guess I was bullied at school by 10, so maybe that accounts for it?

So many things! But mostly that I have a lot of wonderful friends. I was a pretty lonely child, awkward and uncool.

The entire world of personal electronics and the cloud.

I got in early and my entire life is digital. I used the first mass market personal computers and was on several precursors to the internet before most lemmings were born. I’m a software engineer: I play video games and do home automation for fun. I don’t have much of a lab but only for lack of time. Seriously, my entire life.

When I was 10, I was still a couple years away from joining my first computer club (IBM mainframe), learning my first computer language (APL - I’m a math nerd too). There were no mass market personal computer yet, and even the first kits probably weren’t out yet.

When I was 10, my life was skating through school, playing out in the yard with my brothers, or in the woods. I loved building and fixing, whether with my father’s tools, or model kits, or Lego. i loved camping, sports, visiting my grandparents farm. My interest in technology was mostly reading history. I would not even recognize most of my adult life

That I’m on a computer programming all day for my job.

That I’m on a computer programming all night for fun.

That I rarely play video games anymore.

Probably that I haven’t killed myself yet. That’s not a joke.

That I’m a girl now. Would have blown their mind that it was even possible. But then would have been disappointed in me for not having made a video game yet.

That I hate television and actually enjoy working. Jobs suck, “work” sucks, but getting things done around the house or finishing a project or even just getting into a flow on a task is rewarding. 10 year old me would ask, “What happened to us?!” But I guess I enjoyed it then, too. I just defined it differently. Building with Lego for hours in my room, being creative. I didn’t define that as work until my adult hobbies expanded into making things with my hands and I had real world job experience.

You see that pretty girl who lets you touch her? That’s your wife.

See those kids - they are yours. That one can go hunting and will get more girls than you ever will, that one is as kind and caring as you can get, and that one will do dumb shit with you.

I’m impressed with the amount of people who can actually remember what they were like as a 10 year old. I’ve got some pictures n’ shit of myself from back then, but honestly that might as well be a completely different person, and I can’t tell you jack about what’s going through their head.

“What do you mean you’re happy with getting socks for Christmas?!”