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A wife would know exactly what it means and how to do this.
Mine puts up with my dad jokes and tell me I look handsome when Im all gross and covered in dirt after a long day working outside. That’s more than enough for me.
we are simple beings.
What is a man?! Nothing but a miserable pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!
As a biological male and someone who identifies as a man, it’s pretty weak, IMO, to need someone else to make you feel a particular way.
Are you in control of your feelings, or do you constantly need someone else to reinforce, or induce a feeling in you?
Personally, I’m in control of my feelings, and bluntly, nobody else has control over me. Neither for how I feel, or what I think/do; with the only exception to what I do being governed in part by legality. Eg. If I know a thing isn’t legal to do, then I won’t do that thing. Beyond the rule of law, I do, think, say, and feel, whatever, and however I want.
To me, having that much control over my own self is what makes me a person living in a free country. Anyone who does not have the ability, like I do, to think, feel, do, and love, whomever and, whatever they want, is someone who I want to support in gaining that right.
People in general like receiving positive feedback. There is no need to assign feedback to gender roles.
The idea of controlling your feelings seems laughable. If you have control they aren’t feelings, just thoughts. You cant really control thoughts either, just control what you do with them. Except we know that humans in general don’t have great control of our actions either. We just have to live in this comfortable little lie where we have control over ourselves despite all evidence to the contrary in order to maintain a remotely reasonable society, but it’s not real any more than your belief that you control your feelings.
While I don’t think anyone has complete control of their own emotions, I do think some measure of control is possible through manipulation of one’s own facial expression, posture, breathing & thought patterns.
When first reading “a man likes to feel like a man”, i thought it was about trans men
Lol yeah I’ve never heard an adult male say this so that’s the route I was going down too
That’s the perfect answer, IMHO.
More in general, it’s not up to others to change the way they act to feed somebody else’s self-delusions of having some kind of quality they do not have.
I’ve actually had to deal with something somewhat parallel to this when I moved from The Netherlands (whose people are known for being blunt) to Britain (were everything is sugarcoated and people are evasive, the higher the social class the worst it gets) and then proceeded to go around unknowingly insulting just about every insecure person I met in that place by giving them my blunt opinion on what they cared about, without evasiveness or sugarcoating.
The balance I found was to stop giving my opinion unless asked and if asked by somebody who didn’t know my ways yet, give them a notice (“I used to live in The Netherlands so just point out ways in which things can be improved, but that doesn’t mean I think they’re bad”) and then proceed to give them my blunt opinion.
Misandry is sexism
Yeah but none of this is misandry.
Check the usernames. Someone that claims misandry as their identity is just spreading it.
It’s possible for two things to be true at the same time. A misandrist can say something that’s not misandry. And OP is not misandry.
Sure, and a MAGAt Trumper can say something that’s true as well. I will still call out their shitty identity because they are the enemy of progress.
Well like, that’s just your opinion man.
The problem is you didn’t just call out their shitty identity
Check the usernames. Someone that claims misandry as their identity,
you also tried to use it to negate their assertion
is just spreading it.
Or said another way, you made an ad hominem attack and I called you YOU out on it.
A man likes to feel
likea manthats what i read it as lmaooooo
and every women is beautifull.
What makes a man ? is it being prepared to do the right thing, no matter the cost ?
And what makes a man turn neutral? Is it the lust for gold? Power?
No a man is a miserable little pile of secrets
Or it’s a plucked chicken
No. That’s just what makes a good person. Pretty much the same with every other “Being a man means yadda yadda yadda” I’ve ever heard so far. Every time, what follows are a list of qualities that make a good person/human, and are neither exclusive to men, nor counterfactual for women. To think otherwise would be to imply that women don’t/can’t/shouldn’t possess those qualities (I’m not saying you thought otherwise Hadriscus; I’m just taking my thought to the next logical step).
I don’t have a satisfying answer for what “makes a man” because I reject the entire concept that there is any list of qualities of what makes a [gender]; or that one is even needed. The closest could be a pair of testicles (per Laser’s reply), but then we’d enter into a trans debate and frankly I support trans-rights.
Or to really sum it all up, the entire debate is just a bunch of gatekeeping and social identity politics (“man” and “woman” both) that really is just stupid and counterproductive to us all getting along.
yea, I agree,… nothing to add. 👌🏼 My post above was just a quote from the big lebowski, I’m glad it prompted such a thoughtful reply
[face palm] I haven’t seen that movie in a LOOOONG time.
What makes a man? Is it the power in his hands? Or is it his quest for glory?
I actually thought that was what the previous comment was referencing. Awesome
hahaha haven’t heard that in a lifetime !
Sure, that, and a pair of testicles.
You joke, but perhaps… perhaps you’re right.
Just don’t cast shit on a man that’s had enough of it from his work or society. Sometimes we just want to feel human.
Every human wants to be treated humanely. This is not exclusive to men. Neither is having a rough time due to one’s job or society.
You’re making the all lives matter argument
Lol. Kay.
That holds true from all genders to all genders, it isn’t a uniquely “man” thing.
Yeah yeah all lives matter. This thread is about men tho.
I’m like half the size of an average man so as a woman I sometimes have these moments even more intensified, like a goblin against a troll
LOL! Almost that exact phrase is what I use whenever my wife asks me why I’m peeing outside in my backyard instead of just going inside to the bathroom.
National trust is in favour of peeing in the garden. Can be good for some plants!
Just change King to also say man.
So a trans person saying that he is a man, is not a real man? Or more adapted to context, a trans person saying that he wants to feel like a man, is not a real man? and doesn’t deserve to feel like a man?
I don’t agree with that at all. Weird thing to upvote tbh.
Edit: Today I learned, when I advocate for trans rights, I get up votes. When I apply the same support to cis men, I get down voted.
I thought this is a supportive space in terms of gender identity. I guess I was wrong. I will continue to support trans people for the same reasons, I support everyone. Human rights.
I’d say it’s rather that a trans person shouldn’t prove anything to anyone, same as cis. If they feel the need to prove, that’s likely because of influence of toxic gender standards
Well I don’t know where you read the proving part. it is about feeling like a gender, not proving that you are. If you want to change topics, sure, we can talk about a different topic. Do you like Chinese food?
Do you like Chinese food?
Yes, I do. I also do think that you were also reading what wasn’t in the thread starter’s post
It is the logical conclusion of comment. Trans men are men. Unless you want to argue that they aren’t. Or that the men in the comments were implied to be cis men and then want to argue that cis and trans people should be treated differently to each other and therefore a trans man have every right to want to feel like a man but a cis man doesn’t.
How to really feel like a man
- Ignore gender wars bait, there are way more important things out there.
- See step 1
Yeah, first time hearing “a man wants to feel like a man”
My first interpretation was a bunch of guys fighting with sticks and everyone having a blast
Are you male? The phrase is primarily said to women which might be why you’re unfamiliar with it if so.
Sometimes you find a really great stick. I’ve got one on my porch right now.
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You just fell on the first hurdle
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You:
Strong people build others up. Weak people knock them down to feel big. You want to feel like a strong man? Protect others and be generous with your spirit.
You want to feel like a strong man? Protect others and be generous with your spirit.
Fucking this. Strong men—strong people—help others. Healthy or not, realistic or not, this is the message that’s been sold to us since time immemorial. The knight that slays the dragon and saves the kingdom. The alien that crash lands and moonlights as a superhero. The sled dog runs 261 miles to bring the medicine to a town beset by an epidemic.
Yes, sure, one can argue some romanticism (or propaganda) with any given example. But the overall message of heroism, of strength, is not one of selfishness or of “me and mine”.
Heroism is something we ought to focus more on as a culture in general. Doing things simply because they are right and protecting others who cannot protect themselves cannot be understated.
I would say heroism has plenty of cultural emphasis already, perhaps too much even. The prevalence of superhero movies, calling anyone who served in the military a hero, all of the nurses/caregivers/essential workers during covid: there are so many examples of loud proclamations of heroism in US/Anglo culture. It is clearly a value held by the vast majority of people.
I think instead we should be looking at the messages people are actually getting from all the hero worship, rather than what we think are the important take-aways. Things like exceptionalism, having strength to prevail against one’s enemies, making hard decisions for “the greater good”. Finding good stories to combat these potentially damaging and counterproductive ideas is where we should be focusing our cultural energies IMO, rather than more hero worship.
I think a challenge with “right” is that it is subjective. For example, there are people today who believe that doing what’s “right” entails doing things that hurt people, or deprive them of happiness, or even a future. Or, that doing what’s “right” means only helping your family or your friends or your church or your Elks club.
Semi-related, as this reminded me of a quote from Cary Grant:
I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and I finally became that person. Or he became me.
This was then repurposed on Star Trek Strange New Worlds by chief engineer Pelia (from a species that lives several centuries):
Most heroes I’ve seen… are just pretending half the time. There’s this one guy I remember, he said to me, ‘I always pretended to be someone I wanted to be, until finally, I became that someone, or he became me.’
Hah, didn’t catch that when I saw the episode - Pelia knew Cary Grant!
