At 31, I have had 6-10 sexual partners (depending on what counts), half guys, half girls. My female partners (including one transfem) were mostly interested in long-term relationships, as am I. My male partners were all hookups with no follow-up, much to my disappointment. As I am now actively looking for a boyfriend, are there any special considerations when courting men, as opposed to women, for this purpose?
Never done anything with women ever, but be upfront about what your goals are. “The medium is the message” also kinda applies. If you met using an app or the bar, it’s assumed it’s a hook-up.
When I stated seeing my husband over a decade ago, I was upfront that I was looking for long term.
When I just wanted to enjoy someone’s company for an evening, I was also upfront about that too.A decade ago this was less true, but dating apps on smartphones seem to be, as you say, for hookups. I just find it appealing to have a menu, which seems like an efficient way to select partners.
May I ask, how did you meet your husband?
I met my husband in real life. We knew each other like 5 year before but fell out of touch, and a mutual friends had said something along the line lines of “You’re gay now? That’s weird, because I think that ______ said they’re bi now?”
Their phrasing could have been better, but it worked out in the end.I have dated guys off of sites that were used mostly for hook-ups. I put that I was open to dating on my profile, having non-sexual pictures as well as nudes. If someone opened with “nice cock” you know what they’re after, but I was always sure that it was clear about what the situation was before we met up.
Interesting. I’ve never had sex with a friend, but maybe one day. Thanks for sharing.
Straight here from /all. If you have a wide dating pool already, out of curiosity why are you seeking a male partner specifically this time? Just trying something new?
I prefer men. I enjoy uninhibited male sexuality, especially since I’m a bottom. It’s not that I dislike women, but my sexuality has never been a good match for women outside of BDSM. I do not like vaginal sex and I do not understand all the cultural bullshit of gender roles which obviously don’t apply to queer relationships.
Thank you for replying. Yours is a perspective I don’t share but it sounds like a reasonable goal! I hope it brings you happiness.