Hello there. I’m a 21 year old guy with strong depression and many insecurities. I’m always trying to be perfect and my biggest fear is to be a bad person. I’m not a pedophile at all. For me it’s the exact opposite because I hate pedophilia and think it’s the most disgusting thing in the world.
So I accidentally did something stupid that I shouldn’t have done and due to my paranoia and overthinking I can’t stop thinking and worrying about it.
Recently I played this game called Roblox that I occasionally like playing. I played some online game (within Roblox) where you are a cartoony lion and roleplay with other people. Idk why but sometimes I’m quite childish and troll on the internet. So in the game I thought it would be funny to play as if I want to make a baby with another lion so I jumped on other lions and did this mating motion. I’ve seen other people doing this before and didn’t think too much about it and just thought it was funny. But there is this text chat in the game and when I jokingly asked if someone wants to mate and jumped on them they called me a pedophile for doing this and the fact that I’m 21 cause they were saying it’s a kids game and they’re kids. Somehow I just didn’t think about that at all that they might be kids (I must’ve assumed they were adults) and felt really bad about it. Idk how serious they actually were cause I later experimented in another game by just telling my age and they also called me a pedophile literally just because of the fact that I play the game as a 21 year old even though the game has no age limit and I know many adults playing Roblox who experienced similar things since that game literally came out in 2006 where many of the adults were kids themselves and grew up with the game (I was 2 at that time). It’s like someone calls you a pedophile for playing Minecraft as an adult.
But now I deeply shame myself and regret that I did this. I literally just wanted to do something funny and didn’t think about that they might be kids. But it was stupid that I was doing that. And it really hurted me of what they accused me of cause they were saying I’m a pedophile, that I’m Drake, that I need to get a job and need to shower etc.
I know that I don’t have the slightest pedophile thoughts but this experience made me extremely paranoid and I can’t stop thinking about this every day. I wish this would’ve never happened.
Idk how I should deal with this and how I could get rid of these thoughts. It feels like since that happened I ruined my life and made my soul dirty and can never undo this!
Yes you’re right I definitely have this behavior left from being younger and besides trolling I had no other intend. But of course I’m aware of there being people having other intends and that there is a responsibility that comes with getting older. I really need to mature in that regard. It’s just that something in me just still wants to play like a kid and sometimes wants to do silly stuff (except from what I described in the post of course cause that was really stupid).
I don’t get how these kids generally call you a pedophile just for playing Roblox in the first place (I was talking about this on Discord and many other adults where saying they experienced the same thing). I bet that many of these same kids who are saying that will keep playing it as an adult too. I think many people still have an inner child and just wanna have fun sometimes. Heck I even still enjoy the first 3 seasons of SpongeBob cause the humor is just great and I’m sure it was also made for adults in mind.
It’s like they’re complaining about stuff that they do themselves. It’s not like any generation owns some type of internet content or humor. And most of that stuff actually started in my generation being Gen-Z.
It’s all part of the overreaction that’s seeped into culture. The whole “protect the kids children” thing that led to false memories and satanic abuse scares back when I was a kid.
Since kids are now more dialed into the overall culture, they pick up the idea, but don’t know what it really means, to the extent of what you ran into. They think that because they’re kids, everyone else has to toe some imaginary line when they’re around, whether or not it’s actually a place/time where kids are assumed to be the default.
They also have massively skewed ideas about what is and isn’t legal, what is and isn’t a grounds for civil suits, etc. Which is fine, kids always have had skewed impressions of what adult life is like because they rarely get informed about it until way after they should. But then it turns into stamping out bad information left and right because of the internet. The bullshit spreads faster than fact.