I’ve been looking into daddy issues recently and I’m honestly starting to believe I have some of the symptoms.

. Fear of abandonment . Unhealthy attachment patterns . Low self-esteem . Trust issues . Jealousy . Constantly needing reassurance

I think I have 1, 2, 4, 5 and 6. I’ve been in a handful of relationships in my life and there always super stressful because there’s always so much competition and I just want to be there number 1 girl and I don’t know why but I get really obsessed with people. I’ve spoken about this before on this sub but if I like someone then it’s like they become my main interest above all else. It’s also hard for me to trust other people even I know them really well. Obviously, I get jealous really easily. I hate the thought of someone else being better then me at something and taking my lime light. I put so much effort into the way I look and getting others to like me and I feel like I deserve it.

My relationship with my parents isn’t that good. I never had a ‘daddys little princess’ relationship with my dad growing up. I was always overshadowed by my siblings and I was never good enough for my mom or dad plus he was so violent. He got angry really easily especially when he had been drinking. He would slap us, beat us with belts and throttle us. It wasn’t just that either he was always insulting us. He had no problems with using swear words around us and describing us as such and not in a fun or playful way. He singled me out of because I could never meet his standards, he call me stupid, ret@rded, lazy ect, ect,

I never had a normal father/daughter relationship growing but I think deep down I always wanted one. My number one fantasy is being pampered and taken care of by a rich man. I love the thought of being so loved by someone they go out of there way just to keep me around unconditionally like a father would do to his children. I want the father I never had.

  • FlagstaffEnglish
    1·
    2 days ago

    He would slap us, beat us with belts and throttle us. It wasn’t just that either he was always insulting us. He had no problems with using swear words around us and describing us as such and not in a fun or playful way. He singled me out of because I could never meet his standards, he call me stupid, ret@rded, lazy ect, ect,

    Holy crap, you did not deserve that. That makes me so upset to read that you had to ensure that and I’m so sorry this hurtful experience is a part of your past.

    Unfortunately, we can’t change the past, but we can try to craft a better future.

    I’m glass you took the courage to step out and share your story here because that can’t have been easy. You’ve gone through such extreme difficulties that I could never imagine experiencing. And you identified what some of your weaknesses are! That’s extremely admirable as “awareness is half the battle,” as they say.

    Have you considered working on any of these weaknesses? For example, you described how you try to look your very best to be treated the very best; what if you stepped back from that while still training yourself to expect decency and prioritization from others? And trusting in your competence and ability to attract to reduce feelings of jealousy, and so on.

    You are probably so beautiful even without makeup on already. Let yourself feel that and take on that perspective, even if other people disagree. Let them disagree. Their opinion is nothing compared to yours!

  • Cattypat@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    32·
    29 days ago

    can you define daddy issues in any concrete way? this is not an official term at all so I’d be cautious seeking opinions on it online. I feel for you regardless and I struggle with some of these traits, though I don’t think theyre simplistic enough to be ascribed to a relationship with a particular parent or similar

    • latenightnoir@lemmy.worldEnglish
      5·
      29 days ago

      Agreed, both “mommy issues” and “daddy issues” are pretty much unofficial monikers for abandonment issues overall, which are generally caused by unstable relationships with either one or both parents.

      The symptoms don’t seem to be related as much to the parent’s role, but to the minutiae of the relationships themselves, which can look the same in many cases whether it be an inconsistent relationship with the mother or the father.

      Edit: I don’t say this to minimise OP’s issue, to be clear, quite the contrary - familial abandonment issues suck the soul dry overall…