Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. I’m a 30yo M and I didn’t really speak English properly until I was about 14 years old. By that time, teachers just assumed I’m an asshole or being intentionally difficult. When I was younger, teachers told my parents I was likely ADHD and that they should take me to a healthcare processional, but being Hispanic in the early 2000s, to my parents, that was akin to calling me mentally disabled, so they just told me there was nothing wrong with me and that I just needed to apply myself.
I’ve went to primary care doctors over the last few years and described my symptoms, high peaks and long valleys when it comes to my mood and energy and my inability to focus. Unfortunately, I think I’ve been masking for so long that everyone I talk to about this assumes I’m depressed. Even took some depression meds for a while, gave it an honest try and couldn’t stand the side effects.
Not sure if I should just resign myself to this reality. I’ve failed upwards enough through enough very painful trial and error to land myself a solid career, but my energy and motivation is getting really hard to manage, despite the fact that I’m doing everything I can to live a healthy lifestyle(exercise daily, good sleep, etc)
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PCP’s do very basic screenings for these things and the screenings are not very well tailored to neurodivergence. On some level, I think as neurodivergent people we will answer the questions a bit too honestly and sometimes we’re overly self-aware in how we communicate difficulties which can seem like a bigger issue. PCP’s are generalists and they often aren’t offered enough resources due to insurance or office rules to do something more tailored to any individuals unique situation.
That said, it’s still good for them to do the screenings and bring it up since it’s always worth looking into if the signs are there.
I don’t know what your situation is or if you are getting ADHD treatment otherwise, but you might find that (if you are suffering from depression) it’ll be more obvious to you and you’ll find treatment for it and/or anxiety more helpful after getting ADHD-specific treatment started.
I also bounced off of depression and anxiety treatment before I’d started stimulants a few years ago. I started an SNRI a few months ago for depression symptoms (and as a symptom reducer for migraines, interestingly enough) and it became very clear to me that I WAS depressed, once the meds started working. I realized how much stress I was building up and holding onto, as well as how often I fell into mental rabbit-holes of negativity. The SNRI basically helps me hit the pause button on those kinds of triggers well before things build up.
If you haven’t considered it yet, try looking for a pyschiatrist. I’ve been working with a PNP (without having a current PCP, mind you, but my insurance doesn’t require one), and it’s been a breath of fresh air to focus on mental health needs without the doctors office baggage.
Personally, I’m not sure a diagnosis of Depression or Anxiety fits me per say, and but my next step on the treatment journey is to find a therapist to narrow down and/or identify the root cause, and build better skills outside of meds.
Thanks, that’s good advice, I’ll see if I can see a psychiatrist directly. I assume that doesn’t require a referral
Going through all that sounds exhausting… But, among all the other shit i already need to do, i should probably do it.
Is it worth it?1 step at a time. The uphill battle is exhausting, but each small step makes the next a little easier. Plus, no one said you have to climb all the way up the hill in one go. Pause and build up energy every once in a while.
If i had advice for my previous self, itd be that going to a psychiatrist has been really helpful. they focus on 1 thing: meds. I wish I’d done that sooner tbh. Im seeing one who has their own part time practice since they’ve recently become certified, so its been nice having communication that isnt filtered through an office or comprehensive services offering (that isn’t to say there aren’t downsides in availability and responsiveness). i found them through word of mouth, which helped me get past the doom scrolling of the insurance lists.
I used some more ADHD specific/exclusive services for the few years prior and while it was a good start, it was only a partial solution and it was deeply impersonal.
I appreciate your input. Thank you.
My understanding is that depression and anxiety are not uncommon for people with untreated ADHD. So it might be that your struggles with ADHD are causing depression.