i don’t have friends
I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS. this post isn’t about wound dressing.
it seems like i need to make some friends just so there can be someone i can trust who can help me when i can’t help myself due to health reasons
- i think i never asked anything from a friend in the past. how do you ask such a thing from a friend?
- idk at what level of friendship you can ask something like that?
- idk how to have such a friend?
- how do i make friends for this purpose?
title was an example. other examples: you might need someone to accompany you at your hospital night stay after your surgery. you might need someone to drive you to a hospital after you break your foot or lose consciousness
For this kind of things, get a nurse coming at home to do it, it’s out of what a randomq person can do safely.
To find friend, try any possible hobby, no matter whether you play volley ball, volunteer at the red Cross, or are part of a wine tasting group.
Sure you may need to meet 100 persons to have one you trust enough to call them a friend, but you need to start somewhere
In this specific case, pharmacy or doctor. In the case of surgery, ask about social assistance at your hospital.
If you’re “making friends for this purpose,” they aren’t friends. The way you accomplish someone doing this for you is by paying them.
You might need to specify the wound placement. I’d change a dressing on a leg or a foot of a colleague or acquaintance, but if its a more sensitive area that might require an actual friend.
Can you go to a medical clinic or ER and get it changed?
I don’t know what your friends are like, but I’d be comfortable asking my best friends something like this.
Edit: ok, if you don’t have friends or family you can call upon, this is simply aftercare from a healthcare professional. Dunno if you live in a proper country or America, but that’s the truth of it.
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It’s tough. If you’re in a medical emergency type of situation, or are sick and need help, there are a lot of services that can help. You can go to urgent care or ask your doctor. If you don’t have insurance and live in the US, I’d probably encourage you to dial 211 for resources.
Making friends is not easy. But I think you should keep trying and just remember not to give up. I think the first step is just putting yourself around people, and not expecting anything as an outcome. What do you like to do for fun?
engage. radically listen. remember details and ask about them later. how do you find this audience? check out community meetups online or at libraries or advertised in game shops or coffee shops. start by asking someone a question, then offer info… give and take. make jokes. laugh at theirs.
Don’t go to the ER. They’ll charge you an outrageous amount. Call your doc and see if you can just schedule a nurse visit. Before you go to urgent care, call them and let them know what you need and ask what they’ll charge. Make sure you don’t go to one that says ER
Urgent care was made for this it’s walk-in like the er and cheaper like the Dr vist.
In my experience, you make friends by being a friend. Some people just acquire a collection of friends to do things with, those are good people to start with. I invited one of our gay coworkers to a concert (because he liked the band) and now all my kids love him and we also go to yoga together. He is definitely someone who collects friends, he does hang out still with other people who used to work here.
Someone like that is a good place to start, to practice having friends. Once you are more comfortable with people it will be easier. You only have to be involved at the level you want, but basically I’d say if you want someone who would change your medical dressing that needs to be someone for whom you would do the same. That’s how you would know it’s ok. For me I would get an appointment with the walk in and pay, instead of asking someone who doesn’t know what they are doing.
Start liking people. Practice finding things you like with people around you. Things that make you feel they are a good person.
React positively to other people when they say or do things.
Show interest in what occupies other people.
(And of course don’t do stupid shit like lash out or insult people to feel better.)
what do you mean by a good person? every human has good and bad in them. there is no such thing as a good person:
Humans or modern humans are the most common and widespread species of primate, and the last surviving species of the genus Homo. They are great apes characterized by their hairlessness, bipedalism, and high intelligence
there are people who make me feel good because they give me various benefits. is that what you mean?
let’s say i followed your advice. then i also need to be open to forming connections. no? I think i currently enforce a boundary that keeps me friendless. any thoughts on that?
What kind of boundary do you mean and why is it so strong as to prevent friendship? Does it even prevent acquaintanceship? Do you at least have non-strangers in your life?
What kind of boundary do you mean and why is it so strong as to prevent friendship?
it seems like part of me doesn’t want any social connections.
Does it even prevent acquaintanceship?
i don’t think so
Do you at least have non-strangers in your life?
what do you mean by “in my life”?
what do you mean by “in my life”?
I mean your social life; are there acquaintances who you had met earlier who you could message, “Hey, it’s @[email protected] from (wherever we had met)! How’s it going?” I’m talking about the building blocks to friendship.
it seems like part of me doesn’t want any social connections.
Don’t you ever get lonely? What do you do in your free time? Was there some kind of traumatic event in your history that led you to develop AvPD, possibly?
I also notice that you talked about others giving you benefits; what about the other way around? Have you ever helped anyone and felt good about it as a result?
I mean your social life; are there acquaintances who you had met earlier who you could message, “Hey, it’s @[email protected] from (wherever we had met)! How’s it going?” I’m talking about the building blocks to friendship.
yes there are people like that
Don’t you ever get lonely? What do you do in your free time? Was there some kind of traumatic event in your history that led you to develop AvPD, possibly?
not sure. i like meeting new interesting people. maybe: https://lemmy.world/post/26616571
Have you ever helped anyone and felt good about it as a result?
yeah
Oh, I had read that post earlier. Yeah, that’s definitely not a good upbringing to have experienced. Sorry you went through that. Thankfully, not all people are bad, so feel free to reach out to any of those contacts and see if you can get something going through lunch or a hobbyist meetup; friendship-building takes time (months of repeated hangouts). If people don’t take the initiative for invitations, then it’s up to us. A lot of people are reactive but not proactive. It sucks but you get used to it.
However, I don’t think that on average you would be able to make a friend that fast to a depth appropriate for wound care, unless I suppose you specifically befriend a nurse or other medical professional, which is not exactly easy to engineer as opposed to happening to just stumble upon someone.
If you were in the Milwaukee area near me, I would be able to refer you to some contacts. Maybe post about this in groups focused on your locale, like a Lemmy community here or a local subreddit or even Facebook group.
You need to start making friends. This isn’t a joke.
Contact your local church/synagogue/temple and ask if they can help you change wound dressings. Many of the religious groups have outreach and volunteer programs for the needy.
If I was in your situation I would go to the hospital.
Assuming the original injury was treated by a healthcare professional they would have guidance on this matter.
Contact your insurance or your regular healthcare provider they can also help you with this matter.
I’d imagine if I was in a similar pickle my family would help me.
I am not a medical professional, this is not medical advice. I am not familiar with you or your case. Always seek out a qualified professional for all medical concerns in a timely manner.
