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trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago

Satan unsure how to deal with sinners who are in Hell for masochistic sex

www.thebeaverton.com

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Satan unsure how to deal with sinners who are in Hell for masochistic sex

www.thebeaverton.com

trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago
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SECOND CIRCLE OF HELL ― Speaking over screams for pity and the roaring wind buffeting those unfortunate souls convicted of regular lust, the Prince of Darkness expressed frustration Wednesday with the stubborn pleasure which Hell’s most hardcore masochists take in his punishments.
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  • breakfastatmidnight@quokk.au
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    2 months ago

    Masochist: Hurt me !

    Sadist: No.

    That Satan didn’t see this solution immediately tells me they’re not a top.

  • CameronDev
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    • trashcan@sh.itjust.worksOPM
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      2 months ago

      Crack that whip!

  • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world
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    2 months ago

    These “whip” responses are all wrong - they’d enjoy that. Hell for them would be the most boring straight missionary sex with an ancient AF prostitute who’s seen so much action that they wouldn’t feel anything, let alone enjoy it.

    • CameronDev
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      It was just a funny set of posts to be back to back, not a suggestion.

      Maybe straight missionary, but on antidepressants and numbing cream would be the best option.

    • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca
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      Loving slow passionless sex with a wife that only likes soft caresses.

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