• matchaotter@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      edit-2
      3 days ago

      It might not be a definitive point as in, “you feel X way therefore you are Y,” but it certainly can contribute to a greater point.

      I myself am trans and was in my egg from a young age that finally broke when I turned 24. For years before then, I referred to myself as gender fluid while I tried to discover myself. My signs were that I wished I could be reborn as a woman (but didn’t think transitioning would satisfy that desire), feeling really uncomfortable any time people complimented my masculine features (wishing those things weren’t true), and adoring lesbian relationships to the point of wishing I could be in one.

      I’m proud to say I’ve been transitioning for almost 3 years now, and my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up :3

      P.S. if you would like to have someone to talk to about this and share experiences/thoughts outside of a public forum, feel free to send me a DM.

      • kadu@scribe.disroot.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        3 days ago

        Oh. I’m honestly just very confused now.

        I thought trans people always felt like the opposite gender, as in “I know I’m a girl, but I’m trapped in this body”

        Whilst I feel like a male. I know I’m a dude. I wish I was a girl, I think I’d feel better and if I could press a button and be reborn one I’d press without a second thought… But I feel like a guy. That’s not an egg… Is that an egg?

        • Panini@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          3 days ago

          Oh, yeah, this comment right here is a pretty definitive tell. Of course I don’t wanna try to tell you what your gender is with more certainty than you or anything, but yeah, that’s an extremely egg thing to say. I’ve heard and seen some variation of it irl and online from no less than a fifty trans women early in the process of self-acceptance.

          I strongly encourage you to look into it a bit deeper at the very least.

        • matchaotter@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          3 days ago

          I am, or at least was, in a similar camp. I never felt dysphoric as a man, but I felt gender envy towards women. How beautiful, strong, and courageous they are. I thought I was satisfied being a man, but the more I tried on skirts in the privacy of my room at 3am during the pandemic or sloppily applied makeup because I just wanted to try it out, the more I realized I had stepped too far over the line and didn’t want to go back.

          I thought I could inch forward, start HRT but still present masculine. Then I wore a dress to a new year’s party with a handful of friends, someone asked if I wanted to be called she/her which broke me. I stepped over the line too far and realized I was too happy to step back.

          Not everyone has this experience, and I don’t regret my time spent as a man but do look back at old pictures and think, “There’s so much that person had yet to discover.”

          PhilosophyTube on YT said something similar in her video about coming out. Referring to her transition more like a job that isn’t bad, provides a lot of comfort and security, but the more you work that job the more it takes a toll. I don’t think I entirely relate to her, but she offers a perspective that’s also different than “feeling born in the wrong body.”

          Additionally, I started dating someone back in early college who called me out on being an egg like 7 years before I transitioned. We didn’t remain together for reasons I won’t get into, but I talked to them recently for the first time in a while and they gloated so hard about that callout.