First you have to put a regular stew in an old copper still (if you have tomato paste in your stew it also polishes the copper too!). Mix in a bit of Meth+Tylenol to make methanol, which will blind you for a day if you drink the heads and tails of the distilled stew.

Mix equal parts antifreeze and windshield fluid in a pot. Cook over low heat while masturbating and watching a solar eclipse with squinty eyes like this.

A splash of tropicamide and a dash of phenylephrine applied directly to your eyes.

General Electric Type 50 Flash Bulb seasoned with tropane alkaloids

You heat up a medium pot over medium heat. You chop up mistletoe while it heats. When the pot is hot, you put in 3 tablespoons of butter and then chopped mistletoe. Then you put in a pound of ground pork and break it up into smaller pieces while it cooks. Once the meat is cooked, you add 5 cups of Chilli sauce. Stir. Bring to a boil over high heat. Lower the heat to medium low and let simmer for 15 minutes.