So basically I understand that dating a black woman is different than a white woman. She mentioned she feels comfortable when someone is open to learn and takes initiative to learn the societal and cultural things that affect her as a black woman. I don’t know what this means. And the take initiative part confuses me. And I’m not sure how to go about it I’m very open minded to learn but should I probe with questions or more so reading about it myself?
I’d like this relationship to go somewhere (so far had 4 dates) but her telling me that felt deep and I want to make sure I take right steps
Dating wise it’s the same as dating a white woman, at least between the two of you. The difference may come externally from family, friends, random people. I’m a white guy who married a black woman and its never been an issue between us, we even joke about it often. Someone else commented to “never touch her hair, without permission” and I disagree, if I’m cuddling with my wife in bed I don’t ask for permission to touch her hair lol.
You should learn about racism in general though. Like watch a video on The “Brown Eyes/Blue Eyes” experiment, created by Jane Elliot is a good start.
Thanks for bringing up the thing about touching the hair. That is such a good example of the way that people try to be sensitive about this sort of thing actually results in making mountains out of molehills which then end up causing exactly the problems we want to solve. Races are all equally human. As humans, we are capable of having our own personalities. Her being black does not force her to have certain preferences about her hair. Likewise comments about food, etc. strike the same gross nerve. She’s black. We don’t know anything else about her. She might not know anything about African food, or stereotypically black food. For all we know she only eats sushi. For all we know she only eats at Applebee’s.
I’m having nightmare images of this guy showing up at the next date like “oh boy I almost touched your hair just then but then I remembered you black people hate that! Hopefully now you will trust me with the secrets of your delicious spicy shakshuka recipe! Aren’t you glad I took initiative to learn of your black ways?”