• Bojimbo@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      What makes the space toxic? It just seemed like they were trying to make an inclusive space and had issues being able to moderate homophobia and anti-trans bigotry coming from these two instances and are finding alternative options. I understand why many (myself included) wouldnt like this, but I haven’t seen much toxicity inside the actual instance.

        • Kara@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          Being anti-transphobia is not toxic.

          And wow, thanks for linking to a completely random post of a singular person’s negative experience with bottom surgery, you using that incredibly specific post certainly doesn’t tell us what you think of trans people.

          • HopeOfTheGunblade@kbin.social
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            1 year ago

            People love to find rare negative examples and signal boost them to the stars, if they don’t like something. I wish people were trying harder to be the people Mr. Rogers knew they could be.

              • HopeOfTheGunblade@kbin.social
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                1 year ago

                I went to r/actual_detrans to ask for negative experiences and reasons not to have surgery before I went ahead with it. I didn’t ask on r/detrans because it was TERFy AF when I went looking for possible information sources. I wouldn’t have participated in a takeover effort, though. That’s shitty.

                Toxic positivity is real.

                That having been said… Yes, rare. Detransition is rare. On a planet of multiple billions of people, yes, you can find “a lot” of people, in terms of strict numeric count, but they’re a tiny fraction of all people who transition.

                  • HopeOfTheGunblade@kbin.social
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                    1 year ago

                    So, first off:

                    I’m not your enemy. We haven’t met before now, I’m not the person or people who did any of those things to you, and dumping a bucket of rage onto me isn’t going to teach them anything nor in any way improve the situation.

                    Second, it seems a little weird to be hostile to me, reporting about a community I found to be hostile, by saying, “Well of course they are, a community was hostile to them!” Surely you see the cyclic nature this only perpetuates.

                    Third, since I, you know, had a post in r/actual_detrans where I had conversations as well as participating in the community for more than a year following that, where I thought I had a contribution to make, and did so to a positive reaction locally, it’s pretty clear to me that it is possible to both find that actually, you do identify more with your birth gender, and not be hostile to people who don’t.

                    I’m sorrowful for your situation, but I didn’t cause it and almost certainly had no opportunity to influence it. I don’t want to be your enemy, but that is a relationship does not require two to tango. One can unilaterally decide that, and it has to be a decision on the part of those who made that decision, to revoke it.