I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
This would make a great copypasta
Almost like it already is…
I thought it was one…
This is some of the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time. Thank you!
As I child, I read it as he was just the most undesirable child in that universe. He was like a human child, just like ,shitty. And they chose him. That’s cool.
Bro. How hard is it to just step on the little fucker? How have you let him take over your life like this? Just stomp on him and pretend it was an accident.
I mean, if I found a rat that could talk, walk and wear clothes I’d pick him, too. Sorry kids,
Fun Fact: Stuart Little is actually a human who just looks like a rat
In the books, sure. In the movies he’s a bona fide talking mouse.
Which is kind of like Quasimodo with a talking armadillo as the protagonist, now that I think about it.
Oh are we just in babytown now where movie plot dictates perspective?
In Mr.Little’s defense, Stuart was a natural born son so it’s really Mrs Little who was at issue.
This comic is probably based on the movie which changed it so that he was adopted and an actual mouse. It somehow makes even less sense than the original story.
I dunno, I’m not sure a boy who looks exactly like a mouse and matures twice as fast as other humans really makes a great deal more sense than a talking mouse.
A boy who looks like a mouse is magical realism, you can assume the setting is like the real world except for this one-off magical event. A talking mouse is fantasy because now you’re in a setting where all mice can talk if you teach them how which creates a bunch of plot holes including the comic is poking fun at.
what
