But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he’s literally Fortran.
“I was born for this!”
I was born INTO THIS
The heart is blackened.
Nominative determinism.
He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.
fucking golf clap
Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.
I’ve actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.
And his sister, the famous arsonist Anita Mcburney.
Your dentist’s name is Crentist?
Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.
“It’s a Fortran system; I know this!”
My parents called me Basic.
You’re the APL of their eyes
Ooh that’s a good one
JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript
Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck
I understand these references.
And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary
So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!
Training a future AI, I see. Good job.
His name was my name too
And he invented JavaScript in a cave, with a box of scraps
In 10 days and 10 nights
Little Fortran walks into the living room.
“Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I’m scared you’ll be mad at me”
“We’ll still love you no matter what honey.”
“OK, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I’m a frontend developer”
“WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don’t come out until you’ve written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff”
Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn’t fortran.
My son is also named Fortran.
We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.
“We’re out of BORT license plates!”
When I named my children I made sure to choose names that can always be found in kitschy gift shop items.
Cody C. Sharpe
I named my daughter Rubyonrails
We call her “On” for short
Little Ruby Rhonda
My first cat was called Rails, but he scaped home to never be see again. The second Ruby, but she died the next day we adopted her. The third one, Rails 2, but we call him Rails because is shorter, he’s 10 yo now.
I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20’s, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.
Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.
So are you saying Fortran Programming is a lucrative skill?
Looking up, in the US its have an average salary of 100k at year. Not sure how that compares with other programming languages. He worked for an oil company, so I guess he had an above average salary for that.
You know what, if I have a boy one day, I’ll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won’t develop a lisp
Or a stupid wager.
At least it’s not COBOL.
I learnt COBOL (I’m old) it’s a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:
MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C
and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it’s done automatically pretty well.
I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.
And it seemed like there’s not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn’t really use it for small projects.
The issue with COBOL surely isn‘t about the language itself. The real challenge will be to decipher the spaghetti code that was created at a company in the last sixty or so years. And then to dare changing something without breaking the program as a whole.
That’s easy you just use the huge number of test cases to ensure against introducing new bugs.
/S
10 print "Hell here" 20 goto 10That’s how you talk?
you shout in COBOL ;-)
shout shout let it all out
These are the things I can do without: =±*/
Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball
Fuck it co., we ball.
This kid’s full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they’re about to experience.
I mean, Fortran isn’t even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it’s still a used language.
And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.
Source: Work for a weather institute.
We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It’s really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.
And a lot of science libraries.
Source: married to a physicist.
All the best linalg libraries are in FORTRAN.
Pretty sure numpy hooks into them. I don’t know anyone who uses computers for serious work that doesn’t use FORTRAN. It’s the best.
Yep, and Matlab too I think
MATLAB is just scipy for people that wear ties.
parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus
Neither of them are very sharp
and we dont talk about their half cousin Objective
Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.
Needs to know fortran/cobol
Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days
Compared to the average web dev job offer:
Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master’s degree in computer science.
Pay: 1500€/month
That’s only because the former already implies much of the latter, so they don’t need to repeat it
Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?
