• foggy@lemmy.world
      22·
      4 months ago

      The real joke would have been

      A free campaign with a multiplayer menu that allows you to spend $100 or play slot machines for hours to acquire a T-shirt for your character.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
      112·
      4 months ago

      it’s not just that though, AAA gameplay has largely evolved to waste time. pointless side quests, pointless collectibles, pointless giant maps, pointlessly going from one end of the map to the other back and forth just to complete some bullshit quest, pointless grinding…

      well i say pointless, but there is actually a reason to make playing these games such a chore.

      100% XP boost: would you like to pay us for the privilege to play our game half as much this week?

        • pyre@lemmy.world
          1·
          4 months ago

          Lately, it’s been Hades II, Jusant, trying to finish Cocoon, and I’m gonna retry starting Outer Worlds (couldn’t get into it before for some reason).

          But I can’t really give you a comprehensive list since playing indie games usually means playing tons of different stuff all the time. These are just my very current games at this point.

          I do play some AAA games. C2077 was pretty good; I finished the main game but still haven’t gotten into the DLC though. I also still regularly play Overwatch, begrudgingly. I like the gameplay but still hate the monetization and the fact that there is no real competition that scratches the same itch.

      • Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        1·
        4 months ago

        So the minutes long preload of shaders in dragons dogma 2 was just a me thing? I have been meaning to update.

    • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
      4·
      4 months ago

      Dunno sometimes it’s gotta be something with their asset loading methodology. I put Battletech on my NVME and it still had crazy like 3-5-minute loads. A mod fixes it really well though and made the otherwise-great game much more playable.

    • SuperSpruce@lemmy.zip
      4·
      4 months ago

      That’s not true with me. Forza Horizon 5 takes 90 seconds to load on my 970 Evo Plus. Cities Skylines with some mods takes 3 minutes.

    • I Cast Fist
      3·
      4 months ago

      I think what you mean is that this joke will work fine again by the tail end of 2025 despite the prevalence of SSDs.

    • LodraEnglish
      3·
      4 months ago

      Have you tried The First Descendant yet? It’s pretty rough with load times and beats the cap out a graphics card. Is that considered AAA?

  • Rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.worldEnglish
    17·
    4 months ago

    I’ve heard you can pre-order the ultimate mega edition of AAA Game 2 for only £300! It comes with a season pass (but they’ll never finish the roadmap), and extra DLC that isn’t in the season pass too! You’ll still need to buy the extra extra DLC to get the full experience though…

  • tuna@discuss.tchncs.de
    16·
    4 months ago

    And make sure the time is synced to the cloud so they need internet connection, and so the player can’t be sneaky and reload the game to reset the timer if they pressed x too many times

  • Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    8·
    4 months ago

    This remind me of those random flash… Let’s call them creations as they are neither games or animations specifically.

    It starts with 1 A and a wait time of thirty seconds, each time you press the big X, it adds an ‘A’, and increasingly multiplies the time. You end up with the AAAAAAAAAAAAA Game, and are waiting for hours.

    Does it do anything? No. It is vaguely humorous? Kinda?

    • I Cast Fist
      4·
      4 months ago

      I remember a flash animation that was basically the biggest advertisement of itself based off “reviews”, with stuff like “The greatest animation of all time; A must see animation; Better than Lord of the Rings; Better than sex; Better than chocolate; Better than sex with chocolate” - That was all the animation was.

  • LouNeko@lemmy.world
    5·
    4 months ago

    Don’t forget the classic.

    Main Menu is a flat 2D selection screen with a JPEG in the background

    Presses “Back to Main Menu”

    20 second loading screen

    Main Menu still lags

    Why?

    • Lime Buzz@beehaw.org
      4·
      4 months ago

      Because they have infinite time and money to finish it. They have achieved what many big publishers cannot, they have effectively turned a game into a bank and everyone trusts them and likes them for it.

    • XeroxCool@lemmy.world
      4·
      4 months ago

      Does it have transition animations or is it actually smooth? Asking from Elite Dangerous where the transition sequences feel pretty immersove to me. Each solar system is an instance with a wormhole jump between. Sublight and FTL have a charge/dropout sequence. The worst is switching between ship/rover/foot where the screen goes black and you hear footsteps. So what does SC do?

      • ryannathans@aussie.zone
        1·
        4 months ago

        Smooth as heck, flying from space to planet surface. There is quantum travel between distant objects but it’s not there to hide anything, you can very quickly travel from a planet to its moons for example (seconds)

        • I Cast Fist
          2·
          4 months ago

          So Star Citizen actually does No Man’s Sky travel, but better? Interesting.

          • ryannathans@aussie.zone
            1·
            4 months ago

            Yeah, it’s being reworked slightly atm so the animations will be much cooler but the concept is essentially identical

  • jimrob4@midwest.social
    21·
    4 months ago

    When I wanna play a game, I wanna play a game. I don’t wanna watch a damn movie I can’t skip. Or even worse, “follow me!” like it’s Dora the Explorer on tutorial mode. I got like 30 minutes into God of War and gave up.

  • monk@lemmy.unboiled.info
    1·
    4 months ago

    Oh yeah. I’ve started Marvel Midnight Suns, and 4 hours of cutscene later they show how you deploy on a mission: by walking on a rainbow bridge or something. I’m like: “brilliant, now that’s a way to disguise loading with something I’m doing, even if it’s just walking” , and then, at a random place of that bridge, an actual loading screen appears for a good minute. What’s wrong with you.

  • ImpressiveEssay@lemmy.world
    22·
    4 months ago

    I can’t stand games like this. You would be lucky if it was only 45 minutes… and then they will tech you how to make every goddamn step cos god forbid you might need your brain at any point