• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Ugh. Stop.

      I mean…you’re not wrong factually, but all of this is wrong, and I’d just love to stop living now.

  • SassyRamen@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    What a joyful life for that kid. It’s not his fault, but he’ll be hated by his mom his entire life for it.

    Edit: I am pro choice and fucking hate what our country is being turned into by the right.

    • AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Kid is gonna read that article. Maybe now, maybe one day. Imagine reading an article about how your mom wishes desperately with all her heart that she didn’t have you.

      She loves you despite what you are, not because of it. Fuck me.

      • fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc
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        1 month ago

        Yeah I want to admit up top that I have no fucking idea what the right approach is here.

        I’m a new parent, but thankfully my kids aren’t old enough for me to encounter complicated questions yet.

        This might change, but right now my plan is to do my best to avoid cover stories for things. If you’re open (as much as is appropriate) and honest (in the context of the delicate situation), that might be better than trying to hide this aspect of the kids ancestry.

        As an adult I know that it’s possible to simultaneously live a child while acknowledging that an abortion would have been a better option.

        I honestly don’t know whether a child can understand that.

        The thing is, it’s not just a conversation with a child. It’s lived experience. I’m absolutely confident that my children (we have twins) will know that I love them because of my actions - the time I spend with them every day.

        I’m thankful I don’t have to navigate this. I would talk to a child psychologist or something to figure out the best way forward. I suspect that will always be communication, but an expert could help you know the best timing, things to watch out for, et cetera.

    • OccamsRazer@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      She could have given him up for adoption, and had even set the stage for it, then decided against it. She had options, but made the decisions that she made. It isn’t healthy to channel regret about what could have been into your kid or into political movements that hadn’t even happened at the time when she made those decisions.

        • OccamsRazer@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          She had adoptive parents lined up for him before he was even born, but then decided to keep him. Seems like he would have been better off with parents who wanted him instead of a biological mom who would secretly resent him for everything she thought she should have achieved in life. Did you read the article or just get stuck on the click bait headline?

    • VubDapple@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Not hated exactly, but there will be knowledge that they weren’t wanted. They will blame themselves as kids tend to do. Trauma ensues. What a fucking unnecessary tragedy.

      • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 month ago

        Nah hated is entirely possible. Depends entirely on the mother and if she has the emotional and rational capacity to separate it. If her brain makes her think of her rapist every time she looks at her child, it will be impossible to love it.

        I hope she can love it but i wouldnt blame her if she cant.

        • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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          1 month ago

          I’ll blame any parent that forces their trauma onto an innocent child.

          And I say this as a rape victim and a child abandoned at birth.

          • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            As a parent who had a traumatic childhood, as well as partner to two raped AFABs, you don’t “force” your trauma on your children, you have to force yourself to overcome your trauma to be a better person.

            Trauma is fucking hard to deal with at the best of times when you don’t have evidence of your traumatic even sitting in front of you all day every day. I can’t comprehend the difficulty they would have to deal with everyday, but that also isn’t an excuse to not be better, and the child absolutely deserves better.

              • OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works
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                1 month ago

                Assigned Female at Birth. It’s an umbrella term that includes cisgender* women, transgender men, and non-binary people who were born with the anatomy typically associated with women.

                *Cisgender means someone who’s gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

          • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de
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            1 month ago

            The whole idea of “trauma” is that its involuntary. You dont have a rational choice, your brain makes the choice for you.

            If you have trauma of that level you either go with therapy or put your child up for adoption. Its not something you can solve with willpower.

            • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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              1 month ago

              Right and if you don’t do those things, and instead take it out on an innocent child I’m going to blame the fuck out of you.

              • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                I don’t mean to be even more dystopian, but doesn’t the biological father have to consent to adoption/get first rights to adopt?

  • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    Ya know I have nothing but respect for this woman takes a lot of willpower, probably would’ve killed the kid myself. But this is why im a guy and single, dont want to risk such instincts making me a monster. That and I aint got a uterus.

    • elliot_crane@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Same dude. Younger me would have confidently said something boneheaded like “I’d just drink and smoke until a miscarriage”, older me realizes I don’t have any semblance of capability to understand what must be going through this poor woman’s mind. And then even if she had tried something unorthodox to terminate the pregnancy, these sick fucks probably would have tried to put her in jail for it even though she’s the victim.

      • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        Yeah, I didnt even consider that as a full factor. But then again I can confidently say that my kins women wouldnt care enough to even consider it a factor at all, one of them tried to car bomb a man cause “He slapped my ass” luckily the women are not a majority of my kin. But yeah this whole situation existing is fucked, and I am too much of a unga bunga caveman to consider any solution other than the most direct. See problem kill problem, but no thats “immoral” I sometimes wish I was born back when the Kurgans were still new.

    • Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Let’s say we do. Let’s say Harris wins. In order to even attempt to fix this, Democrats will need to get rid of the filibuster.

      They won’t get rid of the filibuster.

    • cowpattycrusader@thelemmy.club
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      1 month ago

      This is absolutely what they want. Force the women into bad positions so they can be more exploitable. Force the children in these situations into bad positions so they can also be more exploitable.

      Although, I am sure they prefer the good ol’ days when they could just rape their slaves.

    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I read an article a few days ago that a Republican state argued that they needed to codify abortion bans because their teen pregnancy numbers were dropping.

    • randon31415@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      There was a study, which I cannot find anymore despite searching for it on google scholar for a half hour, where they looked at a group of people’s sexual encounters over a month.

      If you expanded ‘rape’ to be under the age of consent, one or more people involve had alcohol, one or more people were clinically ‘drowsy’ or asleep, verbal consent never was obtained, or type of sex act or use/none use of condom were not agreed upon by both parties; the researchers found roughly 50% of all sexual encounters in this group could be classified as rape in one way or another.

      Makes you wonder what percent of the population is conceived via something that is technically rape.

  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    How fucked. She told the army and they pretty much threatened to demote her. And when she told the rapist, he ghosted her. No one supported her in getting the abortion, and the adopted parents back out when she was six month. She wanted to work in the space program. That’s so terribly tragic.

  • kandoh@reddthat.com
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    1 month ago

    Imagine being in your golden years and getting a phone call asking if you’d like to see your rape baby grandchild

  • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    That sounds about right unfortunately. They’d put her on light duty and send her for mental counseling. That would then be used to prevent promotions or re-enlistment.

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    They can’t put it up for adoption? Hell I’m my state you can take your unwanted baby to a church or fire station. Because the alternative is usually horrible. Then you still hear about psychos dumping their infants in dumpsters because they don’t know about it or maybe didn’t live in a state with that law.

    • Entropywins@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      That’s your take away…adoption problem solved…

      I have a novel idea take all that empathy for humans that don’t exist yet and apply it to your fellow humans who are already here and need your help

    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      If you believe a fetus is a human being I don’t see how you could be pro choice, that’s how I understood your comment at least. Being pro choice is predicated on the idea that a fetus isn’t a human yet. I don’t know any people that can argue that a fetus is a human child at conception and also be pro choice.

      Honestly we need to change the way we fight against abortion. The Republicans have successfully made the issue a “murder” issue when it’s really an issue of keeping government out of medical decisions as well as severe lack of education about sex. No women want an abortion , they just don’t want to be pregnant. If we fought to drive education about contraceptives and risks of unprotected sex abortion numbers would plummet.

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        they were able to reframe the ‘signs of life’ as ‘when a heartbeat is detected’ - yet it’s not a heartbeat. it’s not a fucking heart yet. And this isn’t controversial interpretation, it’s literal biological development. How can a ‘heart’ beat without VALVES? the entire concept is flawed.

        https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/09/02/1033727679/fetal-heartbeat-isnt-a-medical-term-but-its-still-used-in-laws-on-abortion

        We’re talking about blastocysts growing into embryos. There aren’t organs. There’s a bit of goop that’s trying to differentiate into many parts, it looks far more like something you’d sneeze out than a wee baby.

      • jwmgregory@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        i mean this isn’t really my stance but i’d be willing to play devil’s advocate: a human fetus is a child at conception, i just believe in a utilitarian way that allowing for abortion is more optimal for society than not; in the same way we are all okay with regularly performing castration on pets and animals, a practice typically viewed as horrible and gauche but that we accept for a utilitarian reason (i.e, we have all decided that getting your cat/dog “fixed” is acceptable because it makes the pet significantly easier to deal with behaviorally.) this is still castration tho, they suffer many of the same health problems that human beings do when getting prematurely castrated. remember when the whole internet was outraged over castratos from the 1800s and how terrible a practice it was? we allow that to happen daily to millions of pets, and no one bats an eye. why? because we decided it was simply better, more utilitarian. the same applies to being pro choice in this way, if that was your belief system. you can acknowledge that there do exist similarities between murder and abortion, it is intrinsic to the act. you can also hone your rhetoric beyond stupid regurgitation and realize there are more concise and precise reasons to think the “correct” things, and that in spite of you not walking the world this way yourself these rhetorical paths are still incredibly important for the means of outreach. you suffer from a metaphorical head up the ass, friend, at least that’s what it seems. people are so quick to dismiss and judge anything they’re not immediately aligned with now… the divisive nature of the commons will be the death of us

        • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          : a human fetus is a child at conception,

          this is flawed from the start. how can something be a fetus at conception when doctors don’t use that term until 8 weeks at the earliest?

          re: pets & neutering - this logic will get you nowhere with theists because of the humanity exception - the animals were put here to serve us (according to them), we’re above the system, not part of it. Hence man being created in god’s image yadda yadda…

          • jwmgregory@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 month ago

            frankly the amount of downvotes i’m getting combined with the way you immediately begin arguing against me? missing the point.

            after your first rebuttal: can you come up with a way to justify this that doesnt have to do with what doctors are already deciding? i know i might seem like an asshole right now, but i genuinely want to find rhetoric here that works in justifying this point to all people, the place it would be most useful in, not just circlejerking the people who already think this. we can circlejerk all day. doesn’t accomplish anything. you completely are missing the point that arguing against the made point is futile because no true advocates of that point are actually here. does nothing interest you in why the midwest seems to hold that sentiment so dear? or are they just racist yokels to you? are you so blindingly upset by the idea of what they think that you can do nothing but tirade in response to it? jesus fucking christ there will be one singular issue in my life i “both sides” it for, and it’s this. zero fucking empathy from anyone these days.

            second: that’s a valid point, this crowd would likely respond in turn with that exact argument. i guess my response in turn would be i know their argument is invalid, and you in turn giving me the proper rebuttal accomplishes nothing. it would be more conducive to explore why these people respond this way. is it not interesting to you why these people draw an equivalence between “animals” and “man” in the way they do? or are we just going to bookmark them as stupid and forget about it? jesus fucking christ.

            the response here is my exact problem with rhetoric in the spaces i occupy. i don’t want to be binned in with the same right wing dumbasses i detest, obviously, but blindly lashing out against anything that looks like the enemy? despicable. there’s no thought or reason to it

      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        I’ve heard arguments that abortion is justified even with fetus personhood because nobody has a moral obligation to serve as a host for anyone else without informed consent. You have the right to do anything whatsoever with your own body, regardless of how much someone else needs it.

        • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          We’ll that’s an argument I guess however consent is not the end all be all of free will. You can not give a fetus personhood and be pro choice because at that point you accept that abortion is murder, taking the life of another human. Your right to choose does not supersede another persons right to live.

          Not to mention they consented by having unprotected sex (barring instances of rape of course)

  • Reptorian@lemmy.zip
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    1 month ago

    Even though my mother is part of the Democratic Party, she told me to vote no for limiting government interference for abortion. Guess what, I will vote yes to it.

      • Reptorian@lemmy.zip
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        1 month ago

        Well, I want less government intrusion for abortion. So, I voted yes to have abortion more accessible. Healthcare shouldn’t be controversial.