Its not an unusual thing for lesbian couples to pick a new surname for themselves.
I’m pretty sure only people on the internet argue about this. No one actually cares what other’s do with their last name after marriage.
This post has 2017 reddit vibes. Not in a good way either.
People literally change their names because they feel like it, so I’m sure people do care outside the Internet, specially in circumstances of abuse.
Sorry OP but this kinda gives “EPIC: WOKE FEMINAZI OWNED ON CAMERA” vibes.
Yeah… it can be interpreted that way. But even as a feminist myself, it is a dumb performative sort of protest. Paternal surnames are the least important fixtures of our patriarchal society, and, unless it was created wholecloth, there are no surnames that aren’t patriarchal historically, as the meme points out.
Yeah, I wasn’t trying to call you a misogynist, just point out how the meme might look at first glance.
Wasn’t my post, just advocating for OP
If they think their actions are having much effect, sure, but otherwise I think you’re making assumptions and overreacting. Not everything is for show, people can do things like that just because they personally want to.
The context of the meme implied she was doing it because she’s a feminist and that taking her mother’s name was somehow an expression of that. Of course she can do that, but it isn’t achieving anything if that was the goal
she is achieving and asserting herself, a right that is denied to her on most every other level.
names are symbols. taking ownership of your name may not be material, but it is meaningful. if names were meaningless, trans people wouldn’t change their names, African-American communities wouldn’t change their names, et cetera. but they do, and feminists do, because achieving oneself, having domain over oneself even to the extent of identity, is meaningful especially against a history where that right is restricted against you in favor of the dominant class.
It’s one of those posts that IS funny, but makes OP’s viewpoint ambiguous. And if this was reddit, incels would come out of the woodwork to support the meme.
That’s the point, but satirically. The fact that homelander is the second frame immediately means the take is bad.
Sweet child… The amount of people who don’t see homelander is scary
on reddit, sure. on lemmy?
Lemmy is no better than Reddit in terms of sexism and media literacy
[email protected] in particular has a weird propensity to anti-feminism that i don’t see elsewhere. i’ll get about 60% downvotes on this comment just as everywhere else in this thread just for saying so lol
something about the old school “relax librul it’s called dark humor” mindset is specially present here
I don’t think that’s obvious to anyone who hasn’t watched that movie/series/whatever. At least it wasn’t obvious to me, because I don’t know that guy.
OP’s comments don’t seem very satyrical :')
with no ill will for you, OP, genuinely fuck this boomer ass “joke”
a woman’s name is her name. she lives with it for 1 lifetime, absolutely no shorter than her grandfather does. “male” is not somehow the default human identity. stop trying to enforce that standard.
Love the little respectful preamble you put there, can we make that internet discussion standard plz.?
i support!
I think the point of the joke might be more that an attempt to start a matrilineal naming scheme is foiled somewhat from the fact that the maiden name of the mother is derived from her father, i.e. you can’t escape that the last names all come from patrilineal sources for generations.
…yeah? exactly what i said? i don’t disagree at all except you possibly ignore that the butt of the joke is the woman, normalizing the very repression she attempts to subvert. it’s undermining and mocking the woman’s identity intentionally by asserting the dominance of patriarchal schemes over her own life and decision. (perhaps unintentionally, but nevertheless really.)
in America, historically Black names are also dominated by the history of slavery and white supremacy (different functions, but the end result: subjugation, is parallel). i would post a similar comment hating on a post mocking Black folk for resisting these patterns as well! :)
If a woman is committed to the idea, she could break the patrilineal naming convention simply by creating herself a new last name, and encouraging her children to take that name instead of their father’s.
This is true, but who decided that a woman keeping her maiden name is just using her father’s name? That idea comes from patriarchy. If I inherit something at birth, like a rare coin, it’s mine, whether it came from my mom or dad. The same goes for a woman’s name—it’s hers because she’s had it since birth. Suggesting she doesn’t own it, and must create a new name to escape, reinforces the idea that only patrilineal identity matters and undermines her autonomy in making that choice.
in my friend group we have a guy we describe as “default {name}”, in order to differentiate him from the other {name}s in the group. He’s a cisgender heterosexual white christian male (a rarity among us). Mostly it’s a joke, because we all agree that being mildly offensive is kinda funny, but it’s also a commentary on society at large. If you’re online talking to people you know nothing about, it’s a safe assumption (christian less and less as the years go by though).
It is absolutely ok to not be “default settings”. You’re not doing anything wrong by not confirming to that standard. I didn’t decide what default is, I learned it by observing society.
appreciate your insight! i fully agree with everything except perhaps:
You’re not doing anything wrong by not confirming to that standard.
still a correct statement on its own, but needs the clarification that it’s not chill to mock or hamper the efforts of that “Othered” community to subvert or reclaim their repression. while it’s certainly not wrong for a woman to conform to the patrilineal system, it’s not chill to “gotcha”-laugh at this woman for using the same name she and her mother have owned their whole lives.
it’s a very Rush Limbaugh-esque “you claim to he a feminist, yet you live under the forces and histories of the patriarchy, curious 🧐” joke, in that it’s not wrong, it’s just intensely and obviously comes from a place of ignorant disrespect.
It’s a shit post, I’ll give you that.
When people get married they should come up with a completely new last name for them both.
We should use uuids
our beautiful baby boy Robert 3de2d34e-a089-4a5a-acd8-b00d7c7eb07a
Oh yeah, little Bobby 3d we call him
I mean it’s not far off from Musk’s X AE ZigZag VII Advent Children and Kkkopernicus Diceware Password kids.
A lot of last names here are frozen patronyms (e.g. at some point some dude named Hans had kids; now there are lots of people calling themselves his son, Hansen) or place names. I kinda like the place name bit: Just give kids last names to a place they have a connection to. Where they were born or conceived or something.
Also jobs. Lots of millers, smiths and hunters etc
Ironically no one had the last name of “prostitute” or “harlot”
Certainly in the long past your last name was probably derived from the town or area that you lived in. I don’t think it would work today.
Make up your own surname to assert dominance. Or go by your internet handle.
Reminder that surnames didn’t exist before the middle ages, you just had a singular name that people shouted to get your attention. Since you lived in a community of several dozen people, you didn’t need to do much to differentiate yourself from the other “John” in your town because everyone knows each other. You lived and died just as “John” and would be remembered by your kids for a generation if you were lucky. There was no need to keep track of genealogy, you were a pair of hands and legs, you were supposed to get out there and plow that field and that’s all your baron or lord cared about.
But somewhere after the black plague ravaged Europe and we lost a sizeable chunk of the human population, suddenly workers became in high-demand. Industrialist lords and landowners suddenly didn’t have people smithing their horse shoes or making their bread, so they had to go poach people from far away towns and suddenly workers had power and options. As a way to get noticed for your family’s tradeskill, you would have been wise to advertise this to wealthy employers, the best way was to attach your trade to your name. You were now John Baker to differentiate yourself from John the Drunkard if anyone came looking to hire someone who could cook bread.
So surnames are advertising. It’s all it’s ever been. There’s nothing ancient and special about your name, it was just how your ancestors tried to make a buck.
I know this is a shitposting community but these are, every goddamn one of them, the dumbest possible takes you could have opened a new year with.
A quarter century into the new millenium and our general intelligence level hasn’t budged since the ice age.
I think it’s gone down tbh. The average human is not experiencing the same novel problems that require troubleshooting and focus. A lot of thought is just decision based these days.
According to the little arrows on our comments, there were like, two people really angered by this thought that some people think the rest of people are stupid. It’s amazing.
I don’t think stupid is the correct word, however I do think there are efforts to make independent thought and trouble shooting more difficult for the working class. There is a pretty large incentive for the ruling class to have the least educated population there can be.
Unpopular opinion: Last names are inherently patriarchal and so is marriage
is that an unpopular opinion, or just a well-known fact?
Maybe all my downvotes come from people who say it’s the latter? I’ve been in bubbles that see it as a well known fact, I’ve talked to left leaning people who didn’t. Maybe it’s just a wording I used to attract attention, maybe not, we will never know for sure.
On Spain we have two last names, one for the father other for the mother.
And while before the father’s was always the first, since many years couples of newborn babies can choose the order of the surnames.
Is the latter your mother’s first or second last name?
First last name. Example:
Mother: Maria García Perez
Father: Juan Rodríguez Domínguez
Their kids can be named:
Adela García Rodríguez
or
Adela Rodríguez García
Ans once selected the order with the first kid all the kids from the same couple must follow the same order.
So it’s the mother’s father’s name, or the names of both grandfathers. Still patrilineal
I mean, if you go that way, when surnames where created in the middle ages it was the name of the man.
All spanish surnames ending in -ez mean “son of”. And it’s always male names.
But change has to start at some point.
Some cultures trace heritage both patrilineal and matrilineal, so taking the first last name of your father as your first and the second last name of your mother as your second would be that.
I’m curious, which country does it like that? Seems pretty interesting.
Yeah I’ve always thought it was weird that women are supposed to give up their identity to a man to be married. I’m not really sure why hyphenated names aren’t as popular in the western world or why people don’t occasionally chose to take the woman’s name. I know that women don’t have to change their names, but then often you’ll have the kids as the same name as the father anyway but not the mother. So I’ve heard many women say that they did it so their kids would share their last name.
Hell, I don’t even like my father. But my name is who I am and I like it.
Okay well, whats the benefit to the male?
why yall having a war in the comments? its a silly meme about last names, who the actual fuck cares?
Because their entire poltical and world view is based on identity politics. They cannot simply say “that joke sucked” and move on, they have to make it into yet another virtue signalling exercise and lecture everyone else because that is the behaviour they associate with being a “good person”.
Probably anyone who ever gotten any pressure about handling last-names after marriage might care. It’s definitely something that some people care about, and some people cop flack for their decision.
The joke is just a joke, but the problem is that this joke punches down. That’s generally poor form.
if you are getting “punched down” (aka offended) by a joke posted on lemmy, by a random guy, you should realize that it is simply not that deep
yeah i didnt get any pressure about handling last names, so you might say “you just dont get it” but when i go to linuxmemes and see a meme about a distro i use, i dont go to comments and start a war about it bc it is just a fucking meme, same concept
if you are getting “punched down” (aka offended) by a joke posted on lemmy, by a random guy, you should realize that it is simply not that deep
I think you’ve misunderstood what punching down means. It has nothing to do with being offended. It’s about the relationship between the person telling the joke and the subject of the joke. For example, it’s generally fine for anyone to make jokes mocking rich people; but its not ok to make jokes mocking poor people unless you yourself are very obviously a poor person.
People online do not understand jokes. I refuse to believe anyone in real life would be this dense.
In real life people would see this lol and move on, on the internet they write dissertations about some BS to virtue signal to other strangers how enlightened they are… 🙄
Truth Social is a better fit for y’all
Technicallly, it is still of her father.
Lol a lot of people don’t like this realization
It’s more that it’s kinda missing the point. Everything is something else if you try hard enough but in this case the intention behind it is to honour the father instead of the mother and that’s still working fine.
/father ?
Its a fucking shit post. Release the pearls.
You literally commented first.
Looks like somebody doesn’t like the consequences of their actions. Poor baby.
What in the hell are you talking about? What consequences? Yeah i know you responded to me. And I told you its a shitpost, stop clenching your pearls.
Why am i explaining this very simple interaction?
Yikes.
Lol this person has some imaginary conversation going on
They are one of the best imaginary pearl clutchers on Lemmy while never getting that they are being an asshole too.
No one is off-put by the realization. Just the attitude the post represents.
What attitude is that?
mostly laughing at women it seems
I forgot we can only laugh at men. Sorry everyone.
Scratching my head trying to figure out how an undeniale fact is somehow a condemnation of women.
pointing out how someone’s mother’s last name is just their grandfather’s last name ignores the point the person was trying to make in favour of going “well akschually”.
a woman who feels more connected with her mother and prefers her last name over her father’s last name has made that decision based on her emotions associated with her family relationships. And it was a choice she had to make against the default way surnames are given.
people rarely do things like going through lengthy legal processes to get the necessary paperwork to change your last name for shit and giggles. Instead of “well askchanelyling” people’s choices, think a bit on why they made that particular choice, or you could also ask them
“Haha women weak patriarchy STRONK”
I guess. That’s not how i saw it.
Today I learned that facts are viewed through the lens of an attitude
The amount of high horses in the shitpost community is much more than expected.
Isn’t it funny how a simple fact actually bothers people
