Double edged sword, since it’s good that we can actually remember said experiences and maybe pass the wisdom down.
Oh there;s lots of new experiences in getting old: going through social security rigmarole, turning grey (or bald), finding yourself unable to do stuff you used to do, arthritis, gout, bone loss, needing a cane, getting up several times a night for the sake of your bladder…
Jesus dude…
But if you live long enough it’s all new again! Some good lines from Andy Huggins, 74-year old standup comic:
“Went to the doctor to see if I had arthritis. Turns out I have early onset rigor mortis.”
“The great thing about dating women my age is I don’t have to meet their parents.”
“Anybody ever drop their phone in the toilet? I did that, so I put it in a bag of rice.
Anybody ever drop a bag of rice in the toilet?”Almost all the new experiences suck, too. Like pains you never felt before, in places you’ve never felt pain before.
Actually, this is where mastership comes from.
If you spend even more time, you‘ll become a master in this matter. Because you recognise the little differences to the former experiences. And you learn to handle and to steer it.
It‘s not all bad in not having a first experince only.
There’s more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than can ever be done.
You can still have lots of first experiences if you seek.
The bigger problem is with increased responsibility, less time and less energy.
My recent ex girlfriend would take certain things we were about to do together (traveling, going to the spa, going to a particular restaurant close to my house, spending the day at a museum, etc.) and would just automatically assume that I had already done that same thing with some unspoken past ex of mine, and get preemptively sad, upset, and self-conscious that she wasn’t “the first”… What? Life isn’t all about firsts, why even get upset about that? So what if I’ve already done something before with someone else, I am still going to enjoy it with YOU right NOW. Maybe a lot of people do compare past experiences to current ones, but I don’t find that very fulfilling, so I just don’t. It’s a lot easier to just live day to day.
I think your attitude is a good one to have. Comparison is the thief of joy or whatever the saying is.
Every moment in time is unique, every second that passes is a new second with a new world state. Yes there are similarities and patterns, but by shifting your focus you can always find a new way to look at the world.
Instead of trying to recreate Christmas morning 1995 for yourself, try to create Christmas morning 2025 for someone else.
I’ve found the higher income of older age unlocks all kinds of “firsts” that I simply couldn’t afford when I was younger and living with a beater car and a ramen noodle budget.
Further, as I’ve gotten older the value of different “firsts” shifts dramatically. “First roller coaster” was an important first of my childhood while sitting in an office where Abraham Lincoln’s practiced law eating a piece of pie in what is now a restaurant was a much more important “first” that my childhood self wouldn’t have cared about. The pie is fantastic too!
Nearly everyone has many opportunities they have never taken because they choose not to. How many older people have never
- ridden a motorcycle
- gone fishing
- gone hiking
- knitted
- cooked a complex meal
- gone sailing
- been skydiving
- read a lengthy book series
- played in a local sports league
- coached children
- painted a house
- painted artwork
- sculpted anything
- built a simple things out of wood
- built a complicated thing out of wood
- welded
- taken a canoe/kayak/inner tube down a river
- gone white water rafting
- travel (all kinds!)
All of these things are accessible to the average physically fit person into their 60s. Even the ones that don’t often have special access options for those with disabilities.
But people frequently choose not to try some things because they assume they won’t like them or because of construction concerns, but they also overlook a lot of free or nearly free experiences that they could always try. I haven’t even done all of the things in my example list!
I did a new thing just this weekend, wasn’t even on your list.
This can be good: I don’t go out of my way to recommend mediocre things just because they’re the first good (or even just acceptable) version of a thing that I’ve encountered.
Perspective is a gift.
Blessing and a curse, yeah… fewer new experiences and the world becomes less immediately “Wow!”, but the increase in depth stemming from all of that accumulated context makes old experiences even better in many cases.
I’m thinking here primarily of books, movies, games, music, relationships of all sorts, even of our own persons. One can start to see the multiple layers beneath the surface which were difficult to see due to a lack of life contexts.
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Yeah I just re-watched Men in Black and it felt like a new movie to me.
No wories. Just wait a bit. It won’t be long before all your experiences will feel like new ones again
