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The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 2 年前

Lazy meal

startrek.website

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Lazy meal

startrek.website

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 2 年前
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  • DanglingFury@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    “this simple meal only requires about 5 minutes of prep work”

    Proceeds* to list off atleast half an hours worth of shit to do prior to cooking

    • CluckN@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Simple meal

      Requires a dehydrator and 4 different types of potato

    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      This is my kind of simple.

      How to Make Chili Cheese Nacho Dip.

      • morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 年前

        That soundtrack is everything, thank you for sharing this work of art

      • robdor@lemmynsfw.com
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        2 年前

        Oh my God… It’s so sad but beautiful

      • SpacetimeMachine@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Thank you for reminding me of this. I saw this years ago and it was so good.

      • HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.one
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        2 年前

        A gem in an ocean of turds.

      • bfg9k@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Hey there wildcats…

        I still use that sometimes lol

    • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      https://youtu.be/NGgpSWcaV1U?si=3gTp9E8DxfwvSlpW

      “Simple”

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Pain

    • VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Even better when it involves using ingredients that I don’t have at that point. So going out to buy them is no longer lazy.

    • DrPop@lemmy.one
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      2 年前

      The prep time for today’s recipe is 15 minutes. Now it’s 15 minutes for me the “professional” chef who cooks like this everyday. Jambalaya takes a real long prep time. Especially when you did one too many marijuanas.

    • M137@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      Proceeds*

      • hrimfaxi_work@midwest.social
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        2 年前

        *Proceeds

    • robdor@lemmynsfw.com
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      2 年前

      Y’all ever try the dream omelette? https://youtu.be/sg0nYhUB7CA?si=bqP9SB2Rh8Xm4Gg-

  • JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Step 1: Unwrap processed cheese slice and put in mouth. Repeat as necessary.

    • averagedrunk@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      You’re spending time unwrapping? I refuse to buy the individually wrapped ones because that’s way too much work.

      • RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        I just eat the wrapper.

        • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          I like the plastic wrapped shits after.

          Nice, clean and doesn’t leave poop ghosts in the toilet.

          • WillFord27@lemmy.world
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            2 年前

            The cheese is also still edible inside

            • AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca
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              2 年前

              That’s the best part about eating corn, you can take it out of the toilet the next day and just give er a quick rinse and you got a nice little snack!

        • SOB_Van_Owen@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          Likely 3x more nutritious.

      • Lev_Astov@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        The “deli style” American cheese is far superior, anyway.

    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
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      2 年前

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TMR8a8nCM4c&pp=ygUYc2ltcHNvbnMgYW1lcmljYW4gY2hlZXNl

      I’d say my lazy meal is a Maple Bulgogi Raymeon

    • thurmite@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      Mmm… 64 slices of American cheese…

  • xantoxis@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    [Camera fade in on a full-body shot of me standing in my kitchen, my hands tented smartly in front of me.]

    Hi everyone, welcome back to my food channel. You don’t want to cook a full balanced meal every night, sometimes you just want something quick! So today I wanted to show everyone my go-to lazy meal.

    [I rip open a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips with my teeth and just start pouring them vertically into my mouth. Many of the chocolate chips do not go into my mouth, they just fall straight down, bouncing off the floor and out of frame. Some get caught in the folds of my clothing, occasionally rolling off onto the floor and bouncing out of frame. Most unsettling are the ones that fall into my mouth and then are carried out again by their own chaotic momentum, covered in microscopic flecks of my saliva, sticking to my shirt or splattering on the floor.]

    [This continues for much longer than you’d think, as I empty the entire 1-pound bag without stopping.]

    [I release the empty plastic bag, which drifts to the floor. The camera zooms in on my eyes, where tears are just starting to be visible. Fade out.]

    • addison
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      2 年前

      I smash that like and subscribe.

    • Sabre363@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      Sponsored by RayCon Shadow VPN

    • quams69@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Now go make this vid before I do

      • SwallowsDick@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        YouTube rewards similar channels, you can help each other

    • revlayle@lemm.ee
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      deleted by creator

    • crawancon@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      out of all the entries here, this is the only one I’d watch.

    • SwallowsDick@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Subscribed

    • oNevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 年前

      Man, this was an experience.

  • kozy138@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    Y’all are way too productive…

    And lazy doesn’t necessarily mean quick either. Frozen pizza has gotta be the real winner here.

    • ares35@kbin.social
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      2 年前

      let it cool a bit and fold it over. eat it like a big sammich. don’t even have to dirty the pizza cutter.

      • SpeakinTelnet@sh.itjust.works
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        2 年前

        Call it a calzone and suddenly you’ve circled back to fancy diner.

        • M137@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          Who the hell calls a calzone “fancy dinner”?

          • klemptor@lemmy.ml
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            2 年前

            Someone who would eat a frozen pizza all folded up.

      • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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        2 年前

        Eat it frozen. Way quicker, way lazier.

    • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Making pizza and freezing it sounds like a lot of work to me…

  • Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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    2 年前

    I’m not sure I know how to cook anything that doesn’t start with a chopped onion.

    • lingh0e@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      Your pudding must be weird.

      • Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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        2 年前

        I’m a savory kinda guy.

      • ohlaph@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        I would hate to try the oatmeal too.

      • OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        If you mean pudding a diced onion on his junk, yeah I’d have to agree with you there

    • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      After it gets translucent, add a knife-tip’s worth of minced garlic from the jar… Some salt and pepper.

      From there you’re making anything from soup to pasta to breakfast to Mexican, Asian, Italian…

      • Gingernate
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        2 年前

        Better yet, mince a couple fresh cloves with one of those garlic smasher things

        • Carlcarla@lemmy.world
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          deleted by creator

          • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
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            2 年前

            And it’s a bitch to clean

            • Gingernate
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              2 年前

              True hahahaha

    • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      I think this person is upset that other people are less lazy about cooking in general than he is

      • Syldon@feddit.uk
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        2 年前

        Not really, he is just explaining that some veggies add a lot of taste for very little effort. People watch cooking programmes and think that you have to spend an hour cutting stuff up to make it worthwhile. Or that you have to spend a fortune on herbs to make it taste nice. When the reality is that just adding a single vegetable can do wonders for the taste. Onions are just the most versatile and one of the quickest to prep/cook.

        • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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          2 年前

          Almost everything sauteed or simmered starts out with at least onions, sure. I interpreted it, though, as “this person saying he takes no effort but they’re chopping vegetables and cooking something vs throwing some stuff in the microwave”. Hard to know with no context.

    • gordon@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Grilled cheese, chicken and/or cheese quesadilla, butter-noodles, tomato soup, hot dogs / brats, etc.

      • mxcory@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 年前

        But you can put onion in ALL of those!

        • gordon@lemmy.world
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          All except the grilled cheese, because then it’s a fucking melt you donkey

  • HobbitFoot @thelemmy.club
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    2 年前

    I got this great lazy spaghetti snack recipe.

    1. Take out some pieces of spaghetti from the box.
    2. Eat it.
    • CCF_100@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      Italians would like to know your location

      • mayonaise_met@feddit.nl
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        Italians are the laziest cooks. They took half their culinary tradition from Asia, and the other half from America.

        • Prunebutt@feddit.de
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          2 年前

          Italians are the laziest cooks.

          Someone never made pasta by hand.

        • frippa@lemmy.ml
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          New theory dropped, Italian cuisine is actually American (?)

          • mayonaise_met@feddit.nl
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            2 年前

            America as in the Americas. Tomatoes came to Europe after Columbus.

            • frippa@lemmy.ml
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              Saying Italian cuisine is American because they use tomatoes… Is like saying American cuisine is indo-europ-africa-asian because they use pigs, cows and wheat.

              • mayonaise_met@feddit.nl
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                2 年前

                Yes.

    • aulin@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Top tip: Dip it in syrup before eating it.

  • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Real lazy meal? Uncooked top ramen, the cheaper the better.

    Recipe:

    1. Smash ramen noodles

    2. Open bag

    3. Pour seasoning into bag of broken noodles

    Congrats, you have ramen chips.

    • PlasterAnalyst@kbin.social
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      Yeah, but first you have to dip your pinky in the seasoning and taste it like a tv cop testing drugs.

      • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        A real ramen head snorts it.

        • hrimfaxi_work@midwest.social
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          2 年前

          SHOOT IT, COWARD.

          • kase@lemmy.world
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            2 年前

            For safety reasons, this is a joke.

    • HenryWong327@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      Huh interesting. Here in Hong Kong there’s a snack that is exactly that. It’s basically the exact same thing as ramen, but it’s meant to be eaten directly out of the bag and the seasoning is already mixed in.

      • LoamImprovement@ttrpg.network
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        2 年前

        Reminds me of those old bay goldfish that PF sold for a little bit last year. I admit, my purchases of cheddar goldfish and old bay have been up since that event.

        • OneStepAhead@lemmynsfw.com
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          2 年前

          I bought a bag of those at a grocery store in Texas. Ended up throwing a good portion of the bag away. They were pretty awful.

    • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      That sounds absolutely disgusting and at the same time kinda good

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        That’s exactly how it tastes too

    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Gotta hold the bag closed and shake it up after you pour the seasoning in.

    • WillFord27@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      You can also deep fry it

    • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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      My teeth hurt just thinking about it.

    • oldGregg@lemm.ee
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      deleted by creator

  • HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml
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    2 年前

    But what if the lazy meal is just one raw onion?

    • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Then just eat it like an apple.

      What are you, some kinda workaholic?

      • HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml
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        Then just eat it like an apple.

        Like the Grinch in the movie lol

        Or maybe they love the texture of onion rice! It looks like rice but it tastes like and is onions!

        • ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world
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          Like a previous PM of Australia, Tony Abbott.

          https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/it-was-beautiful-tony-abbott-finally-explains-the-moment-he-bit-into-a-raw-onion/news-story/78f086ab4bf3f01d30670a9cb50d7401

        • OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Onion spätzle!

        • dditty@lemm.ee
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          The medieval onion recipe, where you roast it in the oven, is actually delicious and super easy as well

      • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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        Nah, just former Australian PM Tony Abbott, the absolute nonce: https://youtu.be/8tqXSPkDbX4

    • NJA@lemmy.world
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      I have been found drunk in the middle of the night peeling away at an onion by hand and dipping it into a fast food bbq…

    • aulin@lemmy.world
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      Really nice with a bit of ketchup. Just eat it like an apple. 👌

    • Grass@sh.itjust.works
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      My first thought after reading that was “yeah I guess eating just an onion is a bit weird”

    • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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      Could be onions and bell peppers for a quick and dirty sandwich paste, I know you can get them together at some grocery stores

    • OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      deleted by creator

  • 30p87@feddit.de
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    2 年前

    Here’s my go go lazy meal:

    *drinks water*

    • Infynis@midwest.social
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      2 年前

      drinks coffee

      Did you know caffeine is an appetite suppressent?

      • klemptor@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        Yup my version of this is a cup of tea.

    • Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com
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      2 年前

      Have a cigarette.

      • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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        2 年前

        Fill up on beer, too.

      • 30p87@feddit.de
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        2 年前

        So I’ll never have to eat again sooner?

    • trashcan@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      *takes nap*

    • SlopppyEngineer@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 年前

      Toasted white bread, dry. ~ Elwood Blues

    • teft@startrek.website
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      2 年前

      Mine is chicken Alfredo. The only part that isn’t just waiting is when I make the sauce which only takes like 7 minutes.

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    This is why we in the UK, the King’s of lazy food, have perfected the art of the “picky tea” slap two kind of beige food on a baking tray, shove it in the oven for 15-20 minutes at 200°, big dolop of your preferred dipping sauce on the side, or some baked beans if you’re feeling lush, lovely jubbly.

    • blackn1ght@feddit.uk
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      2 年前

      The beige banquet!

    • ohlaph@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      15-20 minutes? Who has time for that?

    • El Barto@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      I understood some of those words!

    • didnt_readit@sh.itjust.works
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      What is, uhh, beige food? I’ve never heard that phrase before lol

      • gmtom@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Things like fish fingers, chicken dippers, turkey dinosaurs, hash browns, potato waffles, even chips.

  • seSvxR3ull7LHaEZFIjM@feddit.de
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    2 年前

    I don’t mind the chopping, washing and cleaning up is the dealbreaker for actually cooking for a lazy meal.

    My lazy hot meal is usually something with noodles or rice, like jar sauce bolognese or egg rice. Bonus if you eat it straight out of the pot.

    • FarraigePlaisteach@kbin.social
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      2 年前

      My advice: Eat the plates, man.

      • grue@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        ↑ This guy trenchers.

      • samus12345@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Why stop there?

    • Floey@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      I just clean while I cook. Some things barely require more cleaning than a quick wipe and rinse with a drop of soap, like a knife or cutting board.

    • STUPIDVIPGUY@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      fuck it, frozen meatballs and spaghetti-os time

      replace spaghetti-os with chili or whatever tf else you find in your pantry

    • Aux@lemmy.worldBanned
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      2 年前

      Just put everything into a dish washer.

  • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    my lazy meal is just whatever cheese is in the fridge

  • crawancon@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    to make a lazy meal, first you must lazily create the universe…

    • ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Resting on a Sunday. What a lazy work ethic that god fellow had.

    • shadowspirit@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Sagan is missed. Really enjoyed watching the Cosmos series. Something about the way he speaks and his anecdotes…rare person who can communicate to any audience

  • instamat@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Fr, if it involves that much prep then it’s officially gourmet

    • ares35@kbin.social
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      2 年前

      if it dirties more than the dish it’s eaten from.

    • ℕ𝕠𝕓𝕠𝕕𝕪 𝕆𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕝@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Your browser does not support playing HTML5 video. You can download a copy of the video file instead.

  • lipilee@feddit.nl
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    2 年前

    This will potentially sound disgusting, but yesterday i chopped a red onion, broke off a 20cm piece of sausage and ate them with 2 pieces of bread for lunch. Couldn’t even deny I’m from Hungary🤣

    • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      Seems pretty normal to me. I snack on stuff like that though I’d probably have some mustard, mayo or hot sauce with it.

    • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Why would that sound disgusting?

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