- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
the bowel is wider than your asshole
imagining a nurse using the word “asshole” to explain it to a regular person is just hilarious to me.
Somebody should write a small book about this. You could put it in the bathroom and read it while taking a shit.
“The Art of Defecation - How to turn your anatomy into a brown (f)art factory”
It could have an entire chapter just on fiber maxing:
https://i.imgur.com/zmtuVg1.png
Another could be on shit polishing with the mythbusters method.
This is what we’re training LLMs on.
good, it beats the incompetent assholes that just tell you not to do things when you ask them how to do them just because they are harmful.
Thank god for that.
Imagine if LLM were made in Oxford in the 1950’s.
It be trained on the fucking Iliad and Shakespeare.
Thankfully it’s being trained on some real intellectual discourse like your rectum getting stretched out by rock hard shit instead of that garbage
“AI,” what should I do about being constipated?
Painfully stretch your rectum to gaping in order to accommodate your constipation.
That is called impaction removal, and I have done that to people for fun and profit.
Hey Alexa, please examine my rectum
This lady claims to be an expert but doesn’t even mention the poop knife?!
The poop knife is irrelevant until and unless one plans to flush, which this question did not ask.
Also, why do you assume the nurse is a lady?
“gaping rectum” is distinctly ladylike, no?
Why is every comment after this removed?
I think it turned into some amount of shit slinging that stopped being relevant to the shit at hand. I’m guessing mods decided to close that sphincter before the verbal diarrhea overflowed the rim of the post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I edged to this
Poop canon confirmed.
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We have finally found The Forbidden Knowledge
Reddit certainly did have it’s moments, didn’t it?
The Kevin history was wild
have its* moments
Ah, just like Reddit now!
Reddit was better when the community did actually enforce basic grammar.
lol u tk him 2da bar|?
I will arrest you
Uze ur fuziesct handcufts
I’ll always remember the kid who broke both his arms and his helpful mom.
Or the cunnilingus jolly rancher
Was that because of the same reminders over and over, every other thread?
Impressive that he still managed to break his mom with two broken arms.
Between that and Colby, you have the full spectrum of Reddit sexual encounters.
I prefer putting whores before descartes.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve had moments of pure despair as I feel like one’s gonna tear me in half.
A real porcelain shatterer.
I ended up occasionally chugging about half a liter of water before going, because this started happening.
That seems to actually do something very useful when I think I’ve not had enough water prior, but I don’t actually know the details of how the body moves and uses that water. It intuitively feels like 2-3 minutes should be too short of a time-span to start doing useful work, but it still seems to work.
In general not using piddly little 0.2l glasses and instead keeping a large glass or bottle with me isn’t just helpful, it’s vitally important. I simply can’t get by occasionally drinking small glasses of water. Other than the first day I’d resolve to start drinking more water again, I never went to fill them up enough times to actually get sufficient hydration for my size.
Additionally, I’ve learnt to feel my hydration on my lips, if they’re dry I need a drink. But I am an unreliable, irrational actor. I don’t always pay enough attention, or stay on top of things even if I notice, so I’m likely to resort to desperately chugging water again.
Chiming behind the lemming who said the water a few minutes prior going won’t do anything. It certainly won’t do absolutely anything no matter how much you drink. Once the bowel absorbs the water, adding more water to your body won’t restore moisture to the stool.
What probably happened in your case is simply peristaltic movement, some people are more sensitive to it. So chugging a generous amount of water stimulates your gut tissues and encourages things to get moving along.
Going back to the water - of course if you stay hydrated and keep things hydrated it will help. But you cannot rehydrate a stool just by drinking.
The way I understand it is that your colon will work harder to reclaim water if you’re dehydrated, so staying hydrated will help keep stool softer overall. That said, rehydrating while constipated (or immediately before a bowel movement) won’t make a real difference since the water has already been absorbed from the stool and it can’t add it back.
I would imagine your drinking lots of water before, if you do it consistently, is probably just contributing to your overall hydration which makes it easier next time.
Just eat a handful of sugar-free gummy bears every morning before you leave for work and it will be so super easy to poop and clockwork regular.
I think if you’re going to take a daily laxative you should just get an actual laxative.
“Actual”? Sugar-free Gummy bears are legit laxatives and they are adorable gelatinous bears that come in fun colors with great flavors.
Calm down, Haribo sales rep.
After holding in a shit for a couple hours yeah. Literally shitting bricks at that point.
Hours…?
You may want to see a specialist about that, my guy…
Other way around bud, most of us aren’t here shitting our pants just because a bathroom isn’t around.
No; I mean if it becomes that much pressure after that little time, I’m not sure that’s super normal.
Did you not read it is jot pressure just drying out so much it hardens.
Why would I do that? I had to hold it in because there was no toilet around for a couple hours.
Were there any sinks?
No bathrooms or the like.
It’s like a fuckin’ howitzer when it reaches the release point, for real
A sound like from a gun, followed by the shattering of porcelain.
TIL my butthole is a PlayDo’h Fun Factory…
Putting the Shit in ShittyLifeProTips.
There’s nothing about that paragraph I didn’t like!
Now that’s one shit experiment to figure something specific out.
See i have IBS so i already knew this as i experience it first hand weekly.
As someone who tangentially studies IBS, have you tried to follow a low-FODMAP diet? It doesn’t remove everything, but makes it easier and is currently the best approach according to studies.
I have a lot of dietary restrictions to make it better. A bit of constipation is actually a huge improvement for me as ive been to the ER multiple times because i was emptying my entire digestive tract and literally passing out from the pain. I have some significant intolerance’s too like gluten(could be Oligosaccharides idk), and eggs which restrict me a lot in what i can have. FODMAP is a bit complicated because its like a grouping of different things and some of them i have no problem with, or are actually beneficial while others do mess me up. Like Sugar Alcohols like Xylitol actually help i have a really expensive gum thats pure xylitol and it helps to keep my digestion normal. Altho too much can be a problem. Its really complicated and weird. Like one thing ive figured out recently is if i take NSAIDs for a couple days it triggers a really bad episode. So i try to avoid them in general now but if i had to i just would not use them for too long.
Yeah, normally IBS folks do not have issue with every single group of FODMAPs, it’s just a general recommendation to lower them all, then see what can be added without issues.
Good to know xylitol helps! And quite interesting, too.
As per gluten, it’s probably not gluten, yeah, but fructans (oligosaccharides, you’re right on that), mainly inulin - they can trigger IBS as well.
Sourdough breads should probably feel somewhat better then, as fructans are partially degraded through a long fermentation.
Very fitting to my current um, situation
I felt that.
That’s nice, dear.