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When we used to order pizza in middle school, kids would fold the slices one on top of the other and eat them like a big sandwich. That was the most popular way to avoid questions about whether they would share it with others. Not to mention, most people snuck to the toilet for feasting.
Like regular pizza, but you use orange juice as a nice dipping sauce for it
- Place the plastic table on your nose
- Remove the crust and lick it like a rabbi at a circumcision
- Roll pieces 1,3,5 from tip to girth and arrange them into an F shape
- Roll pieces 2,4,6 from girth to tip and arrange them into a U shape.
- Thank the pizza guy who is holding the box still, and then slam the door in his face.
- Continue licking the crust you hid in your pocket, and then dial for another pizza
In a blender
You throw it away, not eating it.
This reminds me of an article about how to pack your plastic shopping bags to avoid spoiling frozen and refredgerated items on the way back home. The article basically boiled down to: bring a cooling bag.
It’s answering some question while completely disregarding the premise of the original question.
Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.
i gotta try that
slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson
sucking like a Dyson
What, immediately block up, stop working then lots of bits just randomly break off you?
Fold it in half (sauce outl, then eat it from the middle out
Or with a fork and knife
Almost like a calzone?
Inverted calzone
Putting it that way just makes it sound delicious
Came here to post this. He had to have been trolling.
That was pizza hut’s ad campaign for stuffed crust pizza.
The dude is weird and out of touch. I believe everything he does and says is performed without any forethought.
Uncut, center out from the bottom.
Or
Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.
Dammit. Now I gotta do this to fuck with my kid
It’s good to build distrust and topics of discussion for therapy as early as possible.
Nah, roll it into a cone with the topings on the outside and try to suck the crust though the topings.
Please do that in the line to vote, so people feel more confident in how competent the electorate is.
rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side
OR
not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace
Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that’s fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.
After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it’s very dim. “Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is.” Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, “Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went.” Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. “More for me then!” Eat the whole thing.
Instant legend.
What the fuck did I just read? You want to eat a piss soaked pizza?
This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole
What about that but as a sausage?
Here we go!
I refuse to believe that was anything other than rage bait, like every Chef Club video.
Sure, probably. Still qualifies though, right?
Oh for sure, I just refuse to believe I’m living in a world where people put pizza in a blender for anything other than rage bait or dealing with a wired jaw and a pizza craving, haha.
Eat the crust, leave the rest.
take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you’ve spiral-noshed the whole thing
OP asked what’s the most incorrect way to eat a pizza. That’s the canonical method, authentic from Italy
No - in Italy you eat pizza with a knife and fork.
Chopsticks
