• CubitOom@infosec.pubEnglish
    50·
    2 days ago

    Oh man…remember when satire news publications had articles of bat boy on the front page because politics weren’t as absurd yet?

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      15·
      2 days ago

      I miss those magazines. I love absurdity, and I’d beg my mom to buy them for me. She wouldn’t and said they were trash, and not real.

      I know. Thats why I want them. I don’t want real news. I never asked her to buy a newspaper. I want to read how Bigfoot was caught bathing in a bird bath in northern Canada. Yes, I was 7, and knew the difference between this and reality. But I love absurd fake shit.

      I spent the 90s watching pro wrestling where an undead wizard faught his own long lost brother, who was thought to be dead decades ago after the undead wizard burned his whole family alive inside the family owned funeral home. Turns out his brother was kept locked in a basement to hide his scars, and now wears a mask to hide his disfigured face. And somehow, because he was burned alive as a child, he now is able to summon fire, which is just as plausible as his brother being able to summon lightning.

      I know most of you don’t watch pro wrestling. I get that it’s not for everyone. BUT! After reading that summery of an actual decades long storyline, if you EVER ask a fan of pro wrestling if they know it’s “fake”, you’re even dumber than you think we are.

      Point is, I love these magazines, but at some point they gave up. They couldn’t be more absurd than real life.

      Absurdity is dead.

      • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        2·
        1 day ago

        I understand the appreciation of the…“theatre” of wrestling, but I can’t get past how much it destroys their bodies. I don’t watch football either. I could watch fiction about both.

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
          4·
          23 hours ago

          That’s fair. Rowdy Roddy Piper did an interview in the late 90s where he talked about how in the 80s Jesse Ventura tried to organize a union, but it failed to materialize. He then said he has no medical coverage, no retirement fund, nothing. When the interviewer asked why he didn’t self fund a retirement fund, Piper said “Look at me. I’m a broken down old man. Do you really think I’m going to make it 65, when they’d allow me to cash out a policy like that? I don’t. I’ll be dead before I reach 65, and not by my own choice with what I’ve done to my body.”

          And he was right. He died at age 63.

          If you try to watch any wrestling program from the 1980s, every wrestling fan inevitably plays the saddest game ever. It’s called “How many of the people on this show are still alive?” And the answer ALWAYS vastly is outweighed by the ones who have died. There is a scary amount of wrestlers who die before age 40. It surpasses football, basketball, hockey, soccer, baseball, and rugby COMBINED by a very large margin.

          So I absolutely get your point. Personally I cannot watch any match with Chris Beniot. Every match he does a flying headbutt. He gets on the top turnbuckle, which means his feet are 6 feet off the ground. His head is around 10 feet off the ground, and then he dives forward, with his face being the first thing that connects with his opponents head, and Beniot actually did that shit legit. He had a concussion every single night of his life for over 15 years.

          And people want to say that he was in control of himself when he did those murders. He had the brain consistency of a 93 year old woman with dementia. Thats not me being outlandish. Those are the medical reports. So every time I see him doing the flying headbutt, I think “That right there is 0.02% of what contributed to the murders.” And I can no longer watch his matches.

          How Ric Flair is still alive, I’ll never know. He may actually be living proof that the devil not only exists, but also grants deals with the devil.

    • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
      15·
      2 days ago

      Madden San Miguel
      June 4, 2012 (age 12) Frisco, Texas, U.S.

      Theres a lot to unpack from lil Gronks info there.

    • deathbird@mander.xyz
      413·
      2 days ago

      If this isn’t a sign of the decline in Wikipedia I don’t know what is. Like it’s not even his channel it’s his dad’s.

      • SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        161·
        1 day ago

        Why would that be a sign of wikipedia’s decline?

        Should they not document a famous figure? It doesn’t matter whether it’s ridiculous or not, value judgement is not an encyclopedia’s place to do

        • deathbird@mander.xyz
          2·
          17 hours ago

          He’s not a famous figure, he’s a child being exploited by his dad, and even on the page itself there’s nothing actually notable about the kid himself. It’s mostly salacious “controversy” about his gross no-name dad.

          And actually encyclopaedias generally and Wikipedia particularly engage in value judgement all the time. Who is or isn’t a notable public figure, what is or isn’t a reliable source, etc.

          Nothing about this child merits a Wikipedia entry. Maybe Encyclopedia Dramatica or Kiwi Farms or something else for the bottom feeders, but not a site that’s supposed to be for general human knowledge. GTFO with that.

  • Sterile_Technique@lemmy.worldEnglish
    24·
    2 days ago

    50s dude could uno-reverse card that shit by breaking out the slang from his own teen years. Get all the gens conversing this way in one thread just for pure chaos-sake.

    • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
      21·
      2 days ago

      We definitely had ridiculous slang in the 80s and 90s, but the truth is I always felt like the media over-played it trying to sound cool. And when we’d over-play it amongst ourselves it was as a way to laugh at adults.

      Can you jam with the console cowboys in cyberspace? Cowabunga. Some of my favorite stuff had excessive references to skateboarding, roller blading, or other Xtreme sports (Hackers, anyone?) and that’s coming from a guy who used to be a part of that scene.

      Maybe I’m wrong. If I am that wouldn’t be fetch.

      Edit: my drunk ass doesn’t know the difference between all of the 80s and 89.

        • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
          4·
          2 days ago

          But you’re not jamming with the console cowboys there, as much as I wish that happened. I guess I should have hacked the Gibson harder.

          On an entirely related note, theoretically there will be a Neuromancer TV show next year.

  • arotrios@lemmy.worldEnglish
    15·
    2 days ago

    At first I was like:

    …then I saw this:

    And began to realize that things were about to get bad…

    I didn’t realize the drama, the pathos:

    The good times:

    …and the bad:

    After much contemplation, I realized there was only one meme I could post in defense: